“Are you Emir the Inexhaustible?” “You know the answer, sir. You were in here just last week. You brought in a wallet and I tried to turn you away because I can enchant only things I have never enchanted before, and wallets are always being brought to me.” “I thought I hadContinue reading “MIDWEEK FICTION: Terms and Condititions”
Author Archives: uncleblogsy
My Life in Pizza
I have never been able to join the debate between Chicago Pizza and New York Pizza. Or New Haven Pizza or deep dish pizza or tavern style pizza or thin crust pizza or ketchup-on-toast pizza (what your thin crust people call pizzas made with a breadlike crust). I have recently realized why this is. Continue reading “My Life in Pizza”
All-American G-Rated Cussin’
As I continue my hopeless quest to figure out why some writers a hundred years ago or thereabouts referred to a handgun as a “roscoe” (I keep waiting for Fatty Arbuckle to be the answer, but no one goes along with it) and my equally futile journey to find out what happened to theContinue reading “All-American G-Rated Cussin’”
CRUSHES OF YORE
I am not sure we have ever discussed in this space the phenomenon of the pin-up joke, a classic of humor for decades. Of course, you know what a pin-up is: THAT goes back for centuries (possibly millennia, depending on whether those cave paintings and ancient sculptures were offerings to a fertility goddess orContinue reading “CRUSHES OF YORE”
QUAINTUPLETS: The Horn of Mr. Horner
Mr. Horner owned a long, black car, which he loved. He washed it four times a week, and he polished the hood ornament and the chrome every day. Twice a month he took it to a mechanic named Harvey, who made sure the engine worked perfectly. Because there was nothing Mr. Horner likedContinue reading “QUAINTUPLETS: The Horn of Mr. Horner”
The King’s Leg Man
“Sir Comvent!” “Sire?” “I need a new pair of boots.” “I don’t suppose that means I will accompany Your Majesty to the cobbler’s shop.” “Perhaps you forgot, sir knight, that you speak to a king who pulled his sword from a stone.” “Perhaps Your Majesty forgets that Your MajestyContinue reading “The King’s Leg Man”
Having It Both Ways
A few months gone, we discussed in this space the concept of the trade card, a Victorian sales device issued by stores who realized that if people started collecting these, they would come to the store to see if a new one was ready. Getting someone into the store was half the battle, afterContinue reading “Having It Both Ways”
QUAINTUPLETS: Yvonne and the Princess
Once upon a time, there was a cow in a fairy tale. “What am I doing here?” she complained. “I don’t wear glass slippers, and I don’t have a basket of goodies for Grandma. I don’t believe I even have a Grandma. I can hardly trade myself for magic beans. If I could,Continue reading “QUAINTUPLETS: Yvonne and the Princess”
FICTION FRIDAY: Those Old Piano Roll Blues
I need to get this off my chest. You’ll understand why. First off, despite all the rumors which have surrounded my discoveries in the pianowork of Wolfgang “Whiskey Pete” M’Cloud, I did NOT use some kind of computer magic on his recordings. I lack the skill even to come up with some ofContinue reading “FICTION FRIDAY: Those Old Piano Roll Blues”
Covering Dishes
It has been some time since we meandered through Memory Kitchen, largely because this is NOT a food blog. But casseroles came up in an online chat, and this threw my mind back into the Iowa kitchen of my boy days. And I must break your heart at the outset. We never ateContinue reading “Covering Dishes”
Blogsy Babbles 