Blogsy Babbles

     He went to church, and walked about the streets, and watched the people hurrying to and fro, and patted children on the head, and questioned beggars, and looked down into the kitchens of houses. And up to the windows; and found that everything could yield hi pleasure.  He had never dreamed that any walk—that anything—could give him so much happiness.  In the afternoon, he turned his steps toward his nephew’s house.

     He passed the door a dozen times, before he had the courage to go up and knock.  But he made a dash, and did it.

     “Is your master at home, my dear?” said Scrooge to the girl.  Nice girl: very.

     “Yes, sir.”

     “Where is he, my love?” said Scrooge.

     “He is in the dining-room, sir, along with mistress. I’ll show you upstairs, if you please.”

     “Thank’ee.  He knows me,” said Scrooge, with his hand already on the dining-room lock.  “I’ll go in here, my dear.”

     He turned it gently, and sidled his face in, round the door.  They were looking at the table (which was spread out in great array); doe ese young housekeepers are always nervous o such points, and like to see that everything is right.

     “Fred!” said Scrooge.

     Dear heart alive, how his niece by marriage started!  Scrooge had forgotten, for a moment, about her sitting in the corner. With the footstool, or he wouldn’t have done it, on any account.

     “Why, bless my soul!” cried Fred, “Who’s this?”

     “It’s I.  Your Uncle Scrooge.  I have come to dinner.  Will you let me in, Fred?”

     Let him in!  It is a wonder that he didn’t shake his arm off.  He was at home in five minutes.  Nothing could be heartier.  His niece looked just the same.  So did Topper when he came.  So did the plump sister, when SHE came.  So did every one when THEY came.  Wonderful party, wonderful games, wonderful unanimity, wonderful happiness!

     And so Scrooge is reconciled with what there is of his family.  Dickens allows a lot of room for interpretation in this passage, and those filmmakers who include Fred make the most of it.   For one thing, this becomes another space for Scrooge to set out whatever moral this particular version is going for.  Note, by the way, how often Scrooge is the last to arrive, whereas in the text he shows up while Fred and wife are still getting things ready.  Note also that we are again ignoring the hint that Scrooge’s family is about to be increased (the business about Scrooge regretting having startled his niece-in-law.

     In Hicks, we see Fred’s party already begun, with Fred delivering the business about how Uncle Scrooge won’t come and dine with us, and don’t miss much of a dinner.  Scrooge is moving slowly toward the door, passes it, comes back, goes up and raises a hand to the knocker and stops.  He thinks this over, and reaches up again, knocking just twice before starting away from the door.  He is well onto the sidewalk when the door opens and, seeing a non-threatening maid, he steps back up to go through that dialogue as written, with a very earnest and almost desperately jolly “He knows me!  He knows me!”  In the dining room, the guests sit down to the table, Fred still standing to see if they are all comfortable when the door slowly opens and a shy but smiling Scrooge peeps in.  The dialogue proceeds as written from here; we look from face to face among the stunned guests; Mrs. Fred rises, as hostess, curtsying a little as she welcomes him.  Fred gives up his seat at the head of the table to his uncle, who wishes everyone a Merry Christmas.  His attention wanders, and he himself wanders to a snow-trimmed window, where he hears “Tiny Tim, at a dreamy distance, singing “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”.  Fred draws him back to the table as the turkey is brought it.  Bread is sliced, allowing us to cut to a scene of Mrs. Cratchit slicing bread at HER table on December 16^th.

     Owen is in a hurry, very jolly.  To the maid answering the door, he says, “Hello, my love!  Will you tell Mr. Fred I want to see him?”  He pinches her chin, too, which she not only accepts, but rather likes, giving him a calculating once-over.  “Fred!”  “Well, who’s this?”  “Your uncle!  Your Uncle Scrooge!”  “I didn’t know you.”  “The smile changes me, doesn’t it?”  Fred ushers hi inside, where the guests refuse to believe this CAN be Uncle Scrooge.  It’s the smile, they complain, and besides, he said….  “That Christmas was a humbug?” Scrooge demands, “That people who celebrate it are fools?  It was stupid of him!  He won’t say it again, mark you: he won’t say it again, ever!”  He whispers a secret to Bess, the prospective Mrs. Fred; she then whispers the secret to Fred, in great excitement.  He also is thrilled, and we shift now to the Cheat Ending seen in the last installment.

     Sim I taps hesitantly at Fred’s door.  When the door opens, he enters with reluctance.  No words pass between him and the maid, who watches with growing interest as he all but tiptoes inside.  After removing his topcoat to reveal a very dapper suit, he approaches the double doors of the dining room and stops, obviously considering a speedy retreat.  Doubting his welcome, he looks back to find the maid nodding at him, encouraging him to go on.  Nodding in reply, he does so.  The music we have been hearing from the room (“Barbara Allen”) stops.  Everyone is surprised; Mrs. Fred emits a faint cry.  Fred, calling “Uncle Scrooge!”, strides to meet him.  Scrooge inquires “Is it too late to accept your invitation to diner?”  “Too late?  I’m delighted!  Delighted!”  Scrooge steps past him to Mrs. Fred, asking forgiveness so humbly that she is won over in a second, and kisses him, saying that he has made Fred so happy.  Topper gives a wink to the pianist, who strikes up a polka.  Scrooge dances very well with Mrs. Fred, for someone who can’t have had much practice lately.

     In Rathbone, only four people are sitting down to dinner at Fred’s.  Everyone is similarly thrilled to see Uncle Scrooge arrive.  He, in his turn, is impressed by the size of the turkey, which is easily three times the size of the goose we saw on the Cratchit table.

     Sim II confronts a plump, cheerful maid.  After an abbreviated version of that exchange, he goes inside.  Mr. and Mrs. Fred are alone together, looking sat the table: turning, both exclaimed, “Come in, Uncle!”

     Matthau and Caine stop off at Fred’s to hand over some presents, but that’s all.

     Scott strolls down a very snowy avenue, twirling his cane.  Fred, inside his house, is giving his wife a gold bracelet.  Hearing a knock, Fred goes to the window to look: he and his wife (Janet) are astounded by what they see.  Scrooge, entering, is perfectly self-assured, entirely at home.  Fred decides he is glad to see his uncle, and conducts him to the dining room.  Mrs. Fred is reserved, but says all the right things expected of a hostess.  Scrooge sees through this, and announces that he is more of a surprise than a pleasure.  Fred, not offended by this, reminds him of his previous sentiments.  Scrooge recalls these too, at greater length, in fact, than he delivered them in the first place.  HE recalls saying that Christas was “a false and commercial festival devoutly to be ignored”, which bears little resemblance to what he actually did say.  Well, says he, he has come here for three reasons: the first is to take back what he said about Christmas.  “That was a humbug.”  “Was it?”  “I didn’t know it then, but I know it now.”  The second is to meet Fred’s wife.  “Well, here she is.”  “Yes, and a beautiful woman she is, too.” He confides that he was once in love (which Mrs. Fred believes) but had neither the courage, nor, perhaps, the depth of feeling that his nephew and niece=-law have.  The third reason for coming is to accept the invitation to dinner, if that is still I force. Fred says he was sure that one day his uncle would accept.  Mrs. Fred has thawed as well, and accepts him into the family.  He asks whether she likes to play party games, and indulges in a private little joke, telling her that the proper simile for “tight as” is “a drum” (and not the answer given in his vision.)  He then makes further apologies, saying that perhaps he chose to forget how much he loved his sister.  “God forgive me for the time I’ve wasted.”

     Stewart visits a church, feeling a bit out of place (he has to be prompted to remove his hat) but finding his voice on “God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen”.  He goes from there to Fred’s but paces for a while on the sidewalk while, inside, Topper sings a comical song “I’m So Terribly Shy”.  Scrooge makes a dash for the door at last and knocks, just twice.  A pudgy maid is surprised to see a late arrival.  They converse as in the text.  The others have sat down to dine by the time Scrooge peers around the door.  Clearing his throat to attract attention, he calls, with timidity, “It’s I.  It’s your Uncle Scrooge.  I’ve, uh, come to dinner.  Will you have me, Fred?”  Fred cries, “Bless my soul!”  The rest of the company, silenced by shock, sit and watch.  Scrooge moves to Mrs. Fred.  “Can you forgive a stupid old man who doesn’t want to be left out in the cold any more?  Will you take me in?”  This strikes to her heart and, saying, “Merry Christmas, Uncle!” she kisses him.  The guests applaud.  After dinner, we see the pair of them polka.

Interlude

     Even the movies which do not cheat the ending like to toss in a scene showing the arrival of a prize turkey at the home of the Cratchits.  They NEED to see that turkey done all the way through.

     None I have seen quite discuss the effect of the arrival of a new entrée on the doorstep on Mrs. Cratchit’s dinner plans.  Even if it arrived first thing in the morning, can you COOK a turkey twice the size of Tiny Tim by dinnertime?  (One or two critics suggest this is a plot on the part of Ebenezer Scrooge, who wants to make Bob late for work on December 26th.)

     Sim I shows us the Cratchits confused.  They can’t imagine where the bird might have come from.  Tiny Tim DOES wonder whether Mr. Scrooge sent it.  This confuses his parents still further: what, they ask him, would make Mr. Scrooge so take leave of his senses?  Grinning, Tim answers “Christmas!”

     Matthau goes shopping.  Later, we see the Cratchits marveling at the mysterious arrival of a turkey and gifts.  They sing again that there IS a Santa Claus.

     In Scott, the ppoulterer’s man kicks at the door in Camdentown to make the delivery, first having to convince Bob that there is no mistake about the address.  On being told that “a gentleman” has sent the turkey, Bob demands, “What gentleman?  What’s his name?”  The deliveryman cries, “Anonymous!  He wishes to remain anonymous!”  The children are agog.  Mrs. Cratchit suggests that the thing to do is to eat the turkey; Bob feels she has had the right idea.  Tim calls, “And God bless us all, every one!”  The family approve this idea as well.

THE CHEAT ENDING

     Some movies cannot wait for the ending Dickens wrote.  We must rush to the Cratchit household, where the textual Scrooge is never seen, in the flesh, and have Scrooge present the family with its new prosperity.  Those versions which omitted Fred have no choice in the matter, of course: Scrooge really has noplace else to go.

     You see how this happens.  For some people, this is the center of the story: Tiny Tim, the Cratchits, and how Scrooge learns to be nice to such people.  Showing this by having the reformed miser visit them upon Christmas Day is the only logical outcome.  You may prefer Dickens’s ending with its joke on poor Bob (showing the old man DOES have a waggish sense of humor, no matter what Dickens says about him) but the cheat ending gives a better excuse for a big closing musical number, as well as bringing Tiny Tim on stage in person to bless us, every one.

     In Owen, the cheat comes later than this, after a scene at Fred’s.  Scrooge, with Fred and Bess (who is not yet Mrs. Fred) ride together to Camde Town.  Scrooge goes into the Cratchit house first, leaving the young couple in the carriage.  Bob is stunned at the appearance of his former employer bearing gifts; Martha, the only other witness to this (besides being the only other person who knows her father was fired last night) is also amazed.  Bob is dispatched to the kitchen with the turkey, and Martha is sent to bring in all the other little Cratchits.  Bob informs his wife, in the kitchen, that Mr. Scrooge has gone quite mad; she does not believe this until she gets a good look at the turkey the old miser has given them.  They hear the children shriek; Mrs. Cratchit pushes Bob to go rescue the little Cratchits from this maniac.  The children are, in fact, shrieking with glee at the mechanical carousel Mr. Scrooge has brought.  Bob doesn’t know what to make of this; when he spots Fred and Bess, he assumes they have come to pack the poor old man off to the hospital.  Instead, Fred reveals that Scrooge has made him a partner in the firm, and now he can marry Bess.  Bob runs to fetch his own wife, who is hiding in the pantry, and brings her out to confront the whole event.  Scrooge now becomes exceedingly stern.  “Bob Cratchit!” he snaps.  “Yes, sir?”  “Pass out the punch!”  Bob’s salary, he goes on, is about to be doubled, and once Peter is old enough, a job will be found for the lad as well.  “Everything for everybody, eh, Fred?”  Mrs. Cratchit is still unconvinced.  Scrooge admits he is rusty at this, never having done it before, but proposes a toast.  “Merry Christmas to us all, my dears!”  Tiny Tim adds, “God bless us, every one!”  We move to “Silent Night” and the closing credits.

     March goes first to Fred’s, singing, “A Very Merry Christmas”.  Fred, smoking a little clay pipe, os wode-eyed throughout his uncle’s visit, and never does find voice to reply.  “I’m rejoining the human race, Fred!  I’ll be back in an hour or so.  Save me some mince pie!”  He runs to his office, and is distressed to realize it is the only one on the street with no display of seasonal greenery.  Breaking a sprig of holly from a neighbor’s sign, he tucks this behind his own.  When he arrives at the Cratchits’, a daughter opens the door.  Scrooge is saying he has no wish to intrude when Bob comes to see who it is.  Bob is struck with anxiety, but Scrooge wishes him “A Merry Christmas, Bob!  A merrier Christmas, my good fellow” and the rest of the speech we will find in the canonical ending.  Only after saying the bit about the best of care for Tim and the smoking bowl of hot bishop does he ask if he can come in.  Bob, still stunned, lets him enter; Mrs. Cratchit, who has heard all, positively glows.  Nonetheless, the family are a bit uneasy when Scrooge sits down to dine with them.  Bob notices Peter is wearing one of his collars, and starts to berate him until Scrooge interrupts with “You don’t mind, do you, Bob?”  “I don’t now.”  Scrooge is introduced to the children; Tim is the only one who accepts the old man at once.  He says he’s glad Mr. Scrooge is there, and offers to sing his Christmas song.  A chorus joins in in the background; we watch emotions play over Scrooge’s face as the song continues (for QUITE a long time.  My guess is that the song was written to be extended or cut short, depending on how the live performance was doing for time, and the director realized they were way short of the required time slot.)  At the end, Tim rises to call “God bless us, every one!” and the invisible chorus sings “Amen”
.     When Magoo arrives, the Cratchits are just sitting down to table.  The toast to “The Founder of the Feast” appears here, somewhat abbreviated.  The children, as in the text, show no enthusiasm for the toast, and their father reproves them: they must be jolly I order to do justice to this glorious bird.  He unveils the enigmatic turkey, and immediately there is a knock at the door.  Tim guesses it is Father Christmas; a scowling Peter says it is more likely some beggar who has smelled the turkey.  Bob declares that if it is, then the beggar shall have some.  A stern and savage Scrooge storms into the house.  The Cratchits huddle together, terrified, as he delivers the line about “I am not going to stand for this any longer!” following it with the canonical dialogue right through “A merrier Christmas than I have given you in many a year.”  They reprise “Ringle Ringle”, during which Scrooge presents gold coins to the children.  A Christmas tree is delivered, and Scrooge gives Tiny Tim a horsey ride on his back.  Bob declares, “You’re a child again, sir!”  Scrooge proposes a toast.  “A merry Christmas, and God bless all of you.”  Tim replies, “God bless us, every one!”  They now reprise “The Lord’s Bright Blessing (Razzleberry Dressing)” amd rimg down the curtain.  Mr. Magoo leads the curtain calls, during which all the characters EXCEPT The Ghost of Christmas yet To Come appear.

     Haddrick goes shopping and then knocks on the Cratchit door.  Bob is dismayed to see his employer, and wonders what he has done wrong.  Scrooge wishes him a merry Christmas.  “Are you feeling well, sir?”  “Better than you’ll ever know, Bob, my boy.”  Scrooge then informs Mrs. Cratchit that he is here at his most ill-mannered, for he is inviting himself to dinner.  As he moves in, the adult Cratchits retreat to the kitchen for a whispered conference.  “What’s gotten into him, I wonder.”  “The Christmas Spirit, I’d say.”  “Look at the turkey!  From the looks of it, it was more than one spirit.”  Out front, sitting in Bob’s chair, Scrooge finally manages to sneeze, resolving THAT unnecessary subplot and providing an excuse for the Cratchits to say “Bless you.”  “Ah yes, I truly have been.”  They sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas, Our Dear Nr. Scrooge”, followed by closing credits over a darkened London.

     Finney sets off on a shopping spree, terrifying the toyshop owner by ordering plenty of everything, paying for it all with a handful of gold coins, and announcing that he will require the services of several small boys to deliver all this.  Each boy will be given half a crown.  “Mr. Scrooge, what has happened?”  “What’s happened is perfectly simple, Pringle!  I’ve discovered that I like life.”  This is, of course, the cue to reprise “I Like Life”.  Scrooge spends more money at the wine shop, handing out bottles to people on the street.  After a quick slide on the ice, aided by the carolers he tangled with earlier, he spots Henry (this version’s Fred substitute) and Mrs. Henry, who are amazed.  He hands them wine and gifts “from an old fool who deeply regrets the Christmases gone by that he might have shared.”  Mrs. Henry invites him to Christmas lunch at three; he cries just a little and accepts.  Shortly thereafter, he spots a Father Christmas suit in a window and buys that, giving him a disguise AND an excuse to reprise “Father Christmas”.  His procession grows as he enters Camden Town, adding dancers and bell ringers.  The Cratchit children watch this parade approach their house.  Scrooge continues right into the house, surprising Mrs. Cratchit so much that she drops the Christmas goose.  Father Christmas suggests she uses this little bird as stuffing for the prize turkey, and starts handing out toys to the children.  The girl who coveted it earlier gets the “dolly in the corner”.  Father Christmas now pretends to leave without giving anything to Tiny Tim, and then “suddenly remembers” a mechanical carousel.  Tim is agog, but, being a man of the world, inquires “You didn’t steal it, did you?”  Scrooge assures him he has not, and then asks if Bob has recognized him yet.  Totally at sea, Bob guesses “Father Christmas?”  Scrooge jerks his beard down for a moment; Mrs. Cratchit recognizes him and screams that the man has gone mad.  Bob assures her there is nothing to fear, but on being told his salary is about to be doubled, agrees that Scrooge has gone completely insane.  Once he has convinced the Cratchits he is sane and sober, Scrooge dances back out into the street to confront Tom Jenkins about that loan.  Tom is pleading for more time when Scrooge tells him the debt is cancelled: in fact, he is forgiving everyone’s debt.  THIS is an excuse to reprise “Thank You Very Much”; all his debtors now join the merry parade.  Spotting the Chairty Solicitors, he calls to them to come to his office tomorrow for a hundred guineas, and the same every Christmas.  They don’t seem particularly surprised at this.  The parade now passes a church, where the choir is reprising “Sing a Christmas Carol”.  Scrooge’s energy flags at last; he slips away from the parade.  Humming his way home, he greets his doorknocker and calls out to Jacob Marley that, between them, they made a merry Christmas at last.  Now he must excuse himself.  He is going to have Christmas Dinner WITH HIS FAMILY.  We move to the closing credits.

     McDuck, out on the street, frightens Fred’s horse, and Fred, too: Fred is understandably concerned to see his uncle abroad in hat, coat, nightshirt, and slippers.  Scrooge says he’s coming to Christmas dinner, and is so merry about it he convinces even the horse.  Shopping, he fills a huge bag, which he carries himself to the Cratchits’.  Struggling to keep his face stern, he storms in, pretending he has another bag of laundry.  Tim sees a Teddy bear bounce loose.  Scrooge hides this; scowling, he turns to Bob and growls “You leave me no alternative but to give you….”  “Toys!” shouts Tiny Tim, who is not fooled.  Scrooge now explains that Bob will be getting a raise, and become Scrooge’s partner.  Bob thanks him, Scrooge wishes him a merry Christmas, Tiny Tim says “God bless us, every ine”, and to the tune of “Oh, What a Merry Christmas Day”, we focus on the happy group and the closing credits.

     Caine orders “Follow me!”  Singing “With a Thankful Heart”, a little musical sermon on what he has learned, he does his shopping, leaving plentiful coal for his bookkeeping staff.  Hugs and gifts are distributed at Fred’s; Mrs. Fred is left glowing while Fred himself can only blink in amazement.  The next stop is an old folk’s home, where he leaves gifts for Fozziewig and his old schoolmaster.  The mice and other poor families seen earlier are not forgotten.  Je finally moves on to the home of the Cratchits.  He has his gift-bearing procession hide, and makes his face very stiff.  “Bob Cratchit!  Ah!  Here you are!”  “M…Mr. Scrooge, sir!”  “You were not at work this morning, as we had discussed.”  “But Mr. Scrooge, sir, we did discuss it.  It’s Christmas Day.  You gave me the day off!”  “I?  I, Ebenezer Scrooge?  Would I do a thing like that?”  “No.  Er, yes.  But you did.”  “Bob Cratchit, I’ve had my fill of this.”  Scrooge goes through with the rest of his mock scolding of his clerk, with interjections from a pugnacious Mrs. Cratchit, who in fact orders him out of the house and threatens him with physical violence before she realizes he has just raised Bob’s salary.  He then adds that he intends to pay Bob’s mortgage on this house, smiling a genuine smile.  He is invited in, and in turn invites the Cratchits to join him in a little Christmas feast of his own.  Now his procession of gifts can be brought in.

     In Curry, there is a knock at the door just as the Cratchits are admiring the mystery bird which has been delivered.  Fred and Mrs. Fred enter, and are invited to stay for dinner.  Fred explains he has had an order from his uncle to meet Mr. Scrooge here.  Bob wonders what he’s done wrong now.  Outside, Scrooge and Debit force their faces into familiar scowls.  Marching in, Scrooge demands to know what Bob is doing at home at this time of day.  “It’s only once a year, sir.”  Fred protests on Bob’s behalf, but is silenced by Debit’s growl.  “I’m not going to stand for this sort of thing any longer.  Therefore, I am about to….”  “Oh no, sir.”  “Double your salary!”  Mrs. Cratchit embraces him.  Bob can say only “I give you Mr. Scrooge, the Founder of the Feast!”  Everyone joins the toast.  An old fiddler, possibly the very one from Fezziwig’s party, enters, and a small caroler drags in a bagful of presents.  Scrooge vows to teach them all “Santa’s Sooty Suit” and asks for Fred’s forgiveness.  He also promises to get Tim healthy again.  Fred cries out “God bless us!”.  Scrooge and Tim reply, “God bless us, every one!”

     The hand in which he wrote the address was not a steady one, but write it he did, somehow, and went down stairs to open the street door, ready for the coming of the poulterer’s man.  As he stood there, waiting his arrival, the knocker caught his eye.

     “I shall love it as long as I live!” cried Scrooge, patting it with his hand.  “I scarcely ever looked at it before.  What an honest expression it has in its face!  It’s a wonderful knocker!—Here’s the Turkey.  Hallo!  Whoop!  How are you?  Merry Christmas!”

     It WAS a Turkey!  He never could have stood upon his legs, that bird.  He would have snapped ‘e, off short in a minute, like sticks of sealing-wax.

     “Why, it’s impossible to carry that to Camden Town,” said Scrooge.  “You must have a cab.”

     The chuckle with which he said this., and the chuckle with which he paid for the Turkey, and the chuckle with which he paid for the cab, and the chuckle with which he recompensed the boy, were only to be exceeded by the chuckle with which he sat down breathless in his chair again, and chuckled till he cried.

     Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to shake very much, and shaving requires attention, even when you don’t dance while you are at it.  But if he had cut the end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of sticking-plaster over it, and been quite satisfied.

     He dressed himself “all in his best”, and at last got out into the streets.  The people were by this time pouring forth, as he had seen them with the Ghost of Christmas present; and walking with his hands behind him, Scrooge regarded every one with a delighted smile.  He looked so irresistibly pleasant, in a word, that three or four good-humoured fellows said, “Good morning, sir!  A merry Christmas to you!”  And Scrooge said often afterwards, that of all the blithe sounds he had ever heard, those were the blithest to his ears.

     He had not gone far, when coming out towards him he beheld the portly gentleman, who had walked into his counting-house the day before and said, “Scrooge and Marley’s, I presume?”  It sent a [pang across his heart to think how this old gentleman would look upon him when they met, but he knew what path lay straight before him, and he took it.

     “My dear sir,” said Scrooge, quickening his pace, and taking the old gentleman by both his hands, “How do you do?  I hope you succeeded yesterday.  It was very kind of you.  A merry Christmas to you, sir!”

     “Mr. Scrooge?”

     “Yes,” said Scrooge.  “That is my name and I fear it may not be pleasant to you.  Allow me to ask your pardon.  And will you have the goodness”—here Scrooge whispered I his ear.

     “Lord bless me!” cried the gentleman, as if his breath were gone.  “My dear Mr. Scrooge, are you serious?”

     “If you please,” said Scrooge.  “Not a farthing less.  A great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you.  Will you do me that honour?”

     “My drear sir,” said the other, shaking hands with him.  “I don’t know what to say to such munifi—”

     “Don’t say anything, please,” retorted Scrooge.  “Come and see me.  Will you come and see me?”

     “I will!” cried the old gentleman.  And it was clear he meant what he said.

     “Thank’ee,” said Scrooge.  “I am much obliged to you.  I thank you fifty times.  Bless you!”

     Scrooge is now free to make amends for years of nastiness, and begins to do so.  So much happens in a short time that many filmmakers, oddly, omit the part where he stops to admire the knocker that started it all.

     It is perhaps only fair to note how many people cry “Humbug!” at this point.  Some complain that the provision of one turkey for one family’s dinner hardly even begins to address the problem of poverty among the lower middle class.  Others complain that if Bob Cratchit had ever really been worth the fifteen bob a week Scrooge allowed him, he could easily and readily have found a better-paying job years ago.  By bestowing gifts upon the Cratchits and thus rewarding an inefficient worker, Scrooge is merely undermining the national economy and making things worse for everybody.

     Such folks are, of course, entitled to their opinion.  But I wouldn’t sit down to a smoking bowl of hot bishop with any of ‘em.  Anyhow, perhaps that IS the way to address large problems: by taking hold of the smallest handles.  Who is to say that the easiest way to combat misery is one turkey dinner at a time?  And, after all, Scrooge does accost the Charity Solicitor when he…where were we?

     After Hicks has sent the boy to buy the turkey, the movie takes a brief detour (much of which was cut from the version edited for 1940s television.)  The boy suddenly returns, calling that no one answers at the Poulterer’s.  Scrooge is distressed; this will never do.  “I’ve got to have that turkey.”  Tossing a coat over his nightshirt, he hurries out, telling Mrs. Dilber to bring out his best clothes from the box room.  When he and the boy reach the poulterer’s, the boy bangs on the door while Scrooge lobs a snowball at an upper window.  Naturally, the merchant opens his window at precisely that moment, and gets the snowball square in the face.  He snaps at the pranksters below, and slams his window, sending a cascade of snow onto Scrooge’s head.  The boy laughs fit to kill, which confirms the poulterer’s suspicions when he opens the door.  When a snow-covered old geezer in a coat and nightshirt orders the prize turkey, and asks that it be delivered to his house, he is very slightly mollified.  “My friend here will show you the way,” Scrooge promises, and as the poulterer jerks his head to call the boy indoors, Scrooge rushes home to dress.  Mrs. Dilber has been cheerfully preparing his finery.  Scrooge pauses at the door to address the knocker, calling “Hello, Marley!  Merry Christmas!”  Inside, he thanks Mrs. Dilber with such a generous tip that she goes into raptures during which she can say only “Oh!”  After she leaves, Scrooge is maddeningly deliberate about dressing, oblivious to the boy now shouting and banging on the door.  The poulterer, still grumpy, is convinced that it has all been a hoax after all, and turns to go.  The boy turns to implore him to come back when the door opens.  A meticulously dapper Scrooge steps out, stunning both man and boy with the amount he pays them.  Scrooge leaves this amazed couple to stroll along the street, greeting and being greeted as he passes through the throng.  The Charity Solicitors spot him, and are not pleased by the sight; they announce his name with acute frigidity.  The sum he whispers to one man is announced by that worthy as “An even hundred!”  They become quite merry with them as he procures their promise to come visit him.

     Owen shaves with difficulty.  He steps out of his front door, the turkey in his arms.  He knocks at his own knocker, greets people on the street, and makes amends with one of the solicitors.

     Sim I omits all of this.

     March, outside, does not recognize the Charity Solicitors at first.  When he does, he states, just like a businessman, “I wish to withdraw certain remarks I made yesterday: I wish to apologize, and I wish to put my name on your list.”  The heavyset solicitor is stiff at first, but is thrilled when Scrooge counts out four coins.  “A great many back payments are included in that, I assure you.  Thank you.  Merry Christmas.”

     Rathbone ambles through the streets, trying to sing “The Holly and the Ivy”, not quite getting the words right, and not caring very much about that.

     Magoo pulls money from under his bed, reprising “Ringle Ringle”  as a song about the joys of spending money to make people happy.  He heads outside, realizes he is dressed only in his nightshirt, and returns to put his hat on to make him look respectable.  Mistaking the poulterer’s stomach for the turkey, he pays for the bird and then the cab with two fistfuls of money, and knocks the boy over by tossing him the rest of the bag.  He has the turkey sent to Bob Cratchit’s at 21 Groveny Lane.  Then he steps back inside, pausing only to admire the door knocker, which winks at us after he has gone in.  Later, fully dressed, he strolls along the street greeting people.  He bumps into the Charity Solicitors, and everyone falls down.  One solicitor apologizes; Scrooge will have none of this, saying it was entirely his own fault.  Seeing who it is, the men are astonished by this humble tone.  “Mr. Scrooge?”  “Do I know you?”  “We were, er, in your office last evening.”  “Oh, of course.  How do you do?  A Merry Christmas to you, sir!”  “You ARE Mr. Scrooge?”  He hands them a smaller bag than he tossed at the boy, assuring them he will give them “not a farthing less”, and performs the dialogue through “Come and see me.”  By the time he wishes them another merry Christmas, they are all smiles, one man nodding vigorously.

     The boy delivers the turkey to Haddrick; Scrooge refuses to accept the change, giving it to the boy.  “Thank you, sir!”  “On the contrary: thank you!”

     Sim II spots the fatter of the Charity Solicitors and moves to block his progress.  He is humble, the solicitor pompous and distant.  Scrooge whispers an amount to him, adding “Come and see me.”  “I will.  I will!”  “Bless you.”

     Finney, seeing the bird, exclaims, “Now THAT’S what I call a turkey!”  After dancing around the sled on which it is being transported, he begins to pull it himself, calling behind him, “Come on, dear boy.  Let’s go and open the toy shop!”

     In Matthau, the chorus and/or Scrooge reprise “Listen to the Song of the Christmas Spirit”.  Taling his hat and cane, he starts out.  B.A.H. Humbug calls “You can’t go out like that!”  “I must doo my Christmas shopping!”  “Without your pants?”

     McDuck starts out, realizes he is also only in his nightshirt, and returns for his cane.  Strolling out like this, he slides down the banister of his front staircase, landing near the Charity Solicitors.  He showers them with money, tossing out more whenever they make a sound, and proves no one there can actually count.  (They seem to see “a hundred golden sovereigns” when there are many times that amount.)  ‘And not a penny less!” cries Scrooge, kicking up his heels as he hurries off through the snow.  He greets people who are justifiably startled.

     In Scott, the Poulterer also loses faith as the boy pounds on Scrooge’s door and shouts.  Scrooge appears in the nick of time, handing the boy a sovereign, and presenting the poulterer with the address, the cash for the bird, and a healthy tip.  (The chap has a delivery wagon, so he doesn’t require a cab.)  He then strolls along greeting people and handing money to the carolers who annoyed him yesterday, telling them they are glorious and exactly like angels.  He fails to recognize the Charity Solicitors at first, and has to turn and run after them.  In response to his greeting, one solicitor inquires “Mr. Scrooge?” as if the words have deposited a terrible taste on his tongue.  When the conversation gets around to an amount, Scrooge whispers it to one man, who whispers it to the other.  They are chattering with excitement about this sum as Scrooge leaves.

     In Caine, Dickens reads us some of the material about strolling out to greet people (including Dickens and his companion rat.)  When he meets the Solicitors, the two men are terrified to see him.  “About the charity donation you asked me for yesterday,” Scrooge says, with humble urgency, “Put me down for (he whispers the amount.)”  The men are astounded.  “Not a penny less.  A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you.”  One man wishes there were something he could give Scrooge; the other immediately pulls off a scarf and hands it to the ex-miser.  Scrooge, much moved by it (it is the only spot of color in his somber attire), thanks him.  “Fifty times!”  The boy appears with the turkey and is told “Follow me!”  (He’s excited, or he might help the boy with the turkey which is ”twice as big as me”.)

     Curry strolls out among people.  Stunned passersby (who include the businessmen we saw discussing his death) stare after him as he wishes them a merry Christmas and moves on.  Recognizing the Charity Solicitors, he exclaims, “Oh, der!”  They also recognize him, and turn to run.  Debit goes after them as Scrooge shouts, and grabs one by the cuff.  They promise never to bother him for money again.  His apology for treating them so badly astounds them.  “You are Mr. Scrooge?”  “Well, not that OLD Scrooge, at any rate.  Please let me donate something.”  But then he doesn’t, instead making an appointment for them to come and see him tomorrow.  They agree, but ask him “Why now?”  “Because it’s too late to do it when you’re dead!”  They agree with this, and leave.  Scrooge confides to Debit, “I LIKE this feeling.  Though I’m not used to all this smiling yet.”

     Stewart dances and skips downstairs.  The boy, appearing with the poulterer and the prize turkey, snaps “Now, where’s my two shillings?”  Scrooge turns these over.  Crying “Whoops!” the boy rushes off.  Scrooge gives the poulterer the address, which is 24 Camden Road, Camdentown.  The poulterer, bewildered or dismayed, repeats this, which makes Scrooge laugh heartily, confounding him.  Still laughing, Scrooge explains the joke: the man can’t possibly carry that turkey all the way to Camdentown, and must take a cab.  The poulterer starts to laugh along with Scrooge.  Some time later, we see Scrooge stroll out to greet people, most of whoma re stunned by this apparition.  He gives money to a beggar.  He compliments children on their snowman.  When he turns to go, they pelt him with snowballs.  Gleefully, he returns fire.

FUSS FUSS FUSS: The Magic Of Your Smile

“I LIKE this feeling.  Though I’m not used to all this smiling yet.”

     You may not have noticed, but the pre-Ghost Scrooge was able to smile and laugh.  Some seem to do it quite a lot, in fact, while for others it is a startling anomaly.  (What kind of business does he run, by the way, where it is unnecessary ever to be pleasant to the customers?  Did he lend money only to those too desperate to care if he treated them like dirt?)

     Hicks APPROCHES a smile only once in the early going, when he beckons Cratchit over to be lectured on the price of coal.

     Owens smiles not at all until the Ghost takes him to see his old school.  Marley is even less cheerful; it must have been a jolly partnership.

     Sim I is not much of a smiler, either.  That grimace of contempt at the Charity Solicitors might be a kind of smile; a similar grimace adorns his face when Bob urges for the day off.  (In a version of the scene seven years earlier, when Marley is dying, Scrooge IS definitely smiling, perhaps at his own little joke.)  Je does laugh at his own “I’ll retire to Bedlam.”

     March smiles only twice, a lurid grimace of indefinite intent, on “decrease the surplus population” and “more of gravy than of grave”.

     Rathbone smiles for the first time when Marley offers him a chance to escape his old partner’s fate.

     Magoo is the first of our Scrooges who finds joy in his life, chortling to himself while counting money, smiling—with menace–twice as he torments Bob Cratchit, and smiling once again at Marley’s offer to help him escape becoming a wandering spirit.

     Haddrick also smiles on “You were always a good friend to me, Jacob”; it is his first smile in the whole show.

     Sim II is NEARLY smiling on “decrease the surplus population”, but that is a definite smile (or smirk) when he bids the Charity Solicitors farewell with an oily “Good afternoon.”  He smiles and even laughs in the presence of Marley during the speech about the undigested bit of beef.

     Finney does NOT smile; the best you can hope for from his Scrooge is a slight lessening of his growl.  His first attempt at a smile is while begging Marley to let him have all three spirits at once, and have it over with.

     Matthau enjoys his work.  He smiles while counting money, perhaps while cheating Cratchit out of a day’s pay for Christmas, and again when he reflects he no longer needs to split his profit with Jacob Marley.

     McDuck is perhaps the second-greatest smiler in this group.  He grins when he recalls the deal he made on Marley’s tombstone, when he computes what he pays Cratchit, when he tricks Fred into thinking he MIGHT come to Christmas dinner, when he assumes the Charity Solicitors are customers, and while reminiscing with Marley about business deals gone by.

     Scott is the champion smiler: with this clutching, covetous old sinner, a smile becomes a weapon.  He laughs and smiles about the humbug of Christmas as an unsmiling Fred listens.  He smiles when driving a hard bargain for corn, and again when insulting the Charity Solicitors.  The smile drops when he learns what they want from hi, but it appears again when he is assured there are still workhouses.  He smiles when saying “nothing” and again on “decrease the surplus population”.  He smiles again when telling Marley there is “more of gravy than of grave” about this apparition.  He is capable of a particularly unpleasant smile; the smile he smiles on witnessing Fezziwig’s party is an entirely different expression, indicating an inner change.

     Caine’s smile on declaring that Christmas is “harvest time for the moneylenders” is one of genuine pleasure, as are those when he has convinced his bookkeepers they don’t, after all, need any more coal and when he is informed that there are plenty of workhouses.  When nephew Fred admits to falling in love, Scrooge laughs out loud.

     Curry laughs when insulting the food at the tavern, but he does not actually smile until visiting his old school.

     Stewart smiles at the humbug on “every item dead against you” and on “because you fell in love.”  There is a half smile on “I’ll retire to Bedlam”; he smiles in genuine amusement at the Charity Solicitors, telling them he assumes they are new to the neighborhood.

     Rushing to the window, he opened it, and put out his head.  No fog, no mist; clear, bright, jovial. Stirring, cold; cold piping for the blood to dance to; Golden sunlight; Heavenly sky; sweet fresh air, merry bells.  Oh, glorious.  Glorious!

     “What’s to-day?” cried Scrooge, calling downward to a boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.

     “EH?” returned the boy, with all the might of wonder.

     “What’s to-day, my fine fellow?” said Scrooge.

      “To-day!” replied the boy.  “Why, CHRISTMAS DAY!”

     “It’s Christmas Day!” said Scrooge to himself.  “I haven’t missed it.  The Spirits have done it all in one night.  They can do anything they like.  Of course they can.  Of course they can.  Hallo, my fine fellow!”

     “Hallo!” returned the boy.

     “Do you know the poulterer’s, in the next street but one, at the corner?”  Scrooge inquired.

     “I should hope I did,” replied the boy.

     “An intelligent boy!” said Scrooge.  “A remarkable boy!  Do you know whether they’ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there?  Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?”

     “What, the one as big as me?” returned the boy.

     “What a delightful boy!” said Scrooge.  “It’s a pleasure to talk to him.  Yes, my buck!”

     “It’s hanging there now,” replied the boy.

     “Is it?” said Scrooge.  “Go and buy it.”

     “Walk-ER!” replied the boy.

     “No, no,” said Scrooge, “I am in earnest.  Go and buy it, and tell ‘em to bring it round here. That I may give them the directions where to take it.  Come back with the man and I’ll give you a shilling.  Come back with hi in less than five minutes, and I’ll give you half-a-crown!”

      The boy was off like a shot.  He must have had a steady hand at a trigger who could have got a shot off half as fast.

     “I’ll send it to Bob Cratchit’s!” whispered Scrooge, rubbing his hands and splitting with a laugh,  “He shan’t know who sends it.  It’s twice the size of Tiny Tim.  Joe Miller never made such a joke as sending it to Bob’s will be!”

     Dickens would bring the house down when he performed this sequence live, and only the most daring movie versions dare to do without it.  The boy serves the same purpose as the charlady who is sometimes inserted into these sections: je hives a rational outsider’s reaction to so obvious a change of personality.

     Certain conventions are generally observed during this scene:

     a.When Scrooge throws his window open, there is ALWAYS fresh snow on the sill for him to knock down with the sash.

     b.Attention must be paid to Scrooge’s sudden decision to spend money on fripperies like cheer and comfort.  (The sum he differs the boy varies, and he often recklessly tosses the money to the boy before the errand is executed; something unlikely with the earlier Ebenezer.)

     c.If the film is going for the Cheat Ending (see the chapter after next), it is here where the cheat begins.  Scrooge goes out to buy the turkey himself, or arranges to meet the boy with it.

     Hicks looks out on a day much like the one described in the text, himself saying “Oh, glorious!  Glorious!”  His boy is the most ragged of all.  Scrooge calls, “A Merry Christmas!  Ot is Christmas Day, isn’t it?”  “Why, of course!”  “I knew I hadn’t missed it!  The Spirits have done it all in one night!  Hey!”  He inquires after the Poulterer’s, and orders a turkey.  The boy replies the incredulous “Walk-ER!” as indicated; Scrooge makes the offer of a shilling and a half-a-crown.  Crying “Hooray!”, the boy speeds off.  Scrooge turns and delivers the rest of the lines to Mrs. Dilber, concluding “It’s twice the size of Tiny Tim!  He’s not dead, you know!  He’s not dead!”

     Owen runs to the window and performs the scene mostly as written, slipping only the bit about the Spirits doing it all in one night.   The boy, when urged to buy the turkey, demands “What, sir?”  Scrooge tosses him a purse of money and promises him half a crown.  Shouting “Whoosh!” the boy takes off.

     Sim I cries “What a beautiful morning!”  he asks a well-dressed boy about a butcher’s shop.  Throughout the exchange, Scrooge’s voice bubbles with merriment and excitement.  This boy cries “Walk-ER!”, and is offered first a shilling and then half a crown.  Scrooge murmurs to himself about sending it to Bob Cratchit’s as he letters a label.

     March rushes to the window ad describes the morning for us, using most of the material from “No fog” through telling us “Cold, pipin’ for the blood to dance to!”  A boy with a brimmed hat explains the day to him.  Hearing that this is Christmas and “The Spirits have done it all in one night!” he rushes back into the bedroom.  He is thoroughly jovial, and the puzzled boy reacts excellently.

     Dressed, Rathbone hurries outside, where he accosts a small boy thoroughly bundled in winter clothes.  A rapid version of the dialogue follows; when ordered to buy a turkey, the boy demands, “Do you mean it?”  Scrooge tells him where the turkey is to go, and gives him money, adding that he is to keep the change.  The boy starts away, but Scrooge grabs his arm to wish him a Merry Christmas.  The boy then asks whom he should say has sent the turkey.  Scrooge tells him to say only that it is for Tiny Tim.

     Magoo winds up dangling from the windowsill by his feet.  He calls to a horse first, terrifying it, and then to a snowman, which fortunately has a small boy behind it.  This boy decides at once that the old man is loopy, but turns his eyes down in a bashful moue when called intelligent.  But he returns to his original opinion when told his mission, starting away with a “Walk-ER!”  Scrooge offers him the half a crown and he shoots off.  Scrooge gloats about where he will send the turkey.

     At 6 A.M., Haddrick hears a bell ring through a snowy sky.  Scrooge moves to a window to call to a small child whose ragged clothes are too small here and baggy there.  When ordered to buy a turkey at the Poulterer’s, this boy replies, “Right you are, sir.  I’ll need some money.”  Scrooge tosses down the lucky guinea from his pocket. The boy is startled.  “How do you know I won’t run off with it?” “Because I trust you, boy!  And because it’s Christmas!”  The boy runs off as Scrooge thanks the Spirits.

     Sim II is summoned by bells to throw open a huge window.  He speaks to the boy only to find that the Spirits have done it all in one night; he does not mention the Poulterer and his remark on the intelligence of the boy is apparently made to us, as he looks our direction.  He returns to the bedroom to dance a bit with his socks and nightcap.  Dressed at last, he steps out to admire his doorknocker and then strolls to a shop where a sign in the window reads ‘PRIZE TURKEE” (sic)  “I’ll send it to Bob Cratchit’s.  He shan’t know who sends it.”

     Finney rushes outside in his nightshirt to intercept a youngish lad who is pulling a sled. The boy is more interested than alarmed by the jolly old man dancing around him.  Scrooge asks about the butcher’s shop and the prize turkey.  “Not the big one: the ENORMOUS one.”  Told to buy it, the boy demands “What’s that?”  He is given two sovereigns and told to wake the butcher and “meet me here in ten minutes.  Be holding that turkey and I’ll give you half a crown.”  The boy dashes away; Scrooge, watching with satisfaction, notes “I think I’m going to like children.”

     Matthau calls to a fairly tall young man.  “What day is it?”  “It’s Christmas Day in the morning, sir!”  “I haven’t missed it!”  ”Go on!  Who’d miss Christmas?”  “Do you know where the butcher shop is?”  “That I do.”  “A bright boy, a brilliant boy: there never was such a boy!  I want you to go and buy the turkey in the window!”  “The little one?”  “No, the big one!”  Scrooge nearly falls from the window in his urgency, but goes on, “Take it to the home of Bob Cratchit!”  “And what’ll I use for money?”  Scrooge is puzzled, and replies, “A good question!”  B.A.H. Humbug, who has been waiting patiently through all the dialogue, now draws a small chest from under the sill.  “And a good answer!  You’ll use money for money!  My money!”  he tosses a handful of gold coins (no Scrooge ever throws coins of any other material), calling “And keep the change!”  “Thank you, sir!  That I will!”  But when the boy starts off, Scrooge calls him back.  A tear gleams as he calls, “Wait!  Merry Christmas!  Always say Merry Christmas!”  “Merry Christmas, sir!  Merry Christmas!”  The boy goes on his way; Scrooge pulls back inside, grumbling, “That’s the trouble with this world.  Everybody’s too busy to say Merry Christmas!”

     McDuck, having already realized it is Christmas, announces, “I know just what I‘ll do!  They’ll be so surprised!  What a wonderful day!  There’s so much to do!”

     The boy summoned by Scott is startled, and well-dressed.  All the exclamations of “intelligent boy” and so forth are murmured by Scrooge to himself in great delight.  The boy expresses no disbelief when ordered to go ad buy a prize turkey.  “I must dress myself,” Scrooge says once the boy has left.  “So much to do: I mustn’t lose any time.”

     Caine, throwing the window open to knock Dickens and Rizzo from the windowsill, looks out on a snowy day.  The boy he summons is the caroler he rebuffed earlier.  The boy is dubious about Scrooge’s sanity, but executes a moue of modesty when complimented.  The turkey Scrooge asks after is described as “the one twice as big as me?”  Ordered to buy it, he replies, “Be serious!”  Scrooge insists that he IS serious; if the boy will buy the turkey, Scrooge will give him a shilling.  “No!  I’ll give you FIVE shillings!’  He tosses the boy a purse.  Dickens starts to tell us how quickly the boy started off, but is run over by the boy.  Scrooge, meanwhile, gloats, “I’ll bring it to the Cratchits’ house.”

     Curry looks out on a snowy morning, wishing a Merry Christmas to everybody and a Happy New Year to the whole world.  The small boy is the caroler he threw coal at last night; the boy remembers this and, when hailed, takes off running.  Scrooge begs him to come back and asks if he knows the poultry shop.  “Is snow white?” the boy replies.  They discuss the prize turkey; Scrooge orders him ”Tell ‘em to bring it here and I’ll give you a silver coin.”  “Do you mean it?”  “Aye, lad.  Come back in less than five minutes and I’ll give you two!”  As the boy rushes off Scrooge calls to Debit, “Come, my faithful friend.  We have much to do.”

     Stewart himself describes the weather as he looks out.  He calls to a reasonably well-dressed boy, who obviously believes from the first that the old guy is deranged, but is interested enough to stay and see what it’s all about.  When told to buy the turkey, he replies, “You’re joshin’..”  Scrooge gradually, painfully, forces himself to offer a shilling, and chokes a bit on, “Come back in five minutes, and I’ll give you two.”  When the boy has left, he considers, gloatful, how he will send it to Bob Cratchit’s.