Chicken Social was a small yellow chick with good legs, a loud chirp, and a phone. One day he crossed the road and hopped along the road to see if the worms were fatter I other people’s yard, and came to a high fence around an airport. Since he had never seen anContinue reading “MIDWEEK FICTION: Chicken Social”
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Did They Really…Yeah, They Did
For reasons we needn’t go into, the above has never been one of my favorite gags. But I believe it helps illustrate that our ancestors were not as shy about sex as we like to believe. (As noted hereintofore, that’s how they got to be ancestors.) This is a joke which makes absolutely noContinue reading “Did They Really…Yeah, They Did”
MIDWEEK FICTION: Terms and Condititions
“Are you Emir the Inexhaustible?” “You know the answer, sir. You were in here just last week. You brought in a wallet and I tried to turn you away because I can enchant only things I have never enchanted before, and wallets are always being brought to me.” “I thought I hadContinue reading “MIDWEEK FICTION: Terms and Condititions”
My Life in Pizza
I have never been able to join the debate between Chicago Pizza and New York Pizza. Or New Haven Pizza or deep dish pizza or tavern style pizza or thin crust pizza or ketchup-on-toast pizza (what your thin crust people call pizzas made with a breadlike crust). I have recently realized why this is. Continue reading “My Life in Pizza”
All-American G-Rated Cussin’
As I continue my hopeless quest to figure out why some writers a hundred years ago or thereabouts referred to a handgun as a “roscoe” (I keep waiting for Fatty Arbuckle to be the answer, but no one goes along with it) and my equally futile journey to find out what happened to theContinue reading “All-American G-Rated Cussin’”
CRUSHES OF YORE
I am not sure we have ever discussed in this space the phenomenon of the pin-up joke, a classic of humor for decades. Of course, you know what a pin-up is: THAT goes back for centuries (possibly millennia, depending on whether those cave paintings and ancient sculptures were offerings to a fertility goddess orContinue reading “CRUSHES OF YORE”
The King’s Leg Man
“Sir Comvent!” “Sire?” “I need a new pair of boots.” “I don’t suppose that means I will accompany Your Majesty to the cobbler’s shop.” “Perhaps you forgot, sir knight, that you speak to a king who pulled his sword from a stone.” “Perhaps Your Majesty forgets that Your MajestyContinue reading “The King’s Leg Man”
Having It Both Ways
A few months gone, we discussed in this space the concept of the trade card, a Victorian sales device issued by stores who realized that if people started collecting these, they would come to the store to see if a new one was ready. Getting someone into the store was half the battle, afterContinue reading “Having It Both Ways”
FICTION FRIDAY: Those Old Piano Roll Blues
I need to get this off my chest. You’ll understand why. First off, despite all the rumors which have surrounded my discoveries in the pianowork of Wolfgang “Whiskey Pete” M’Cloud, I did NOT use some kind of computer magic on his recordings. I lack the skill even to come up with some ofContinue reading “FICTION FRIDAY: Those Old Piano Roll Blues”
Covering Dishes
It has been some time since we meandered through Memory Kitchen, largely because this is NOT a food blog. But casseroles came up in an online chat, and this threw my mind back into the Iowa kitchen of my boy days. And I must break your heart at the outset. We never ateContinue reading “Covering Dishes”