The skull, taken simply as a skull, was unobjectionable: clean and white, displayed on a black tablecloth for better contrast. Matt had seen photographs of skulls before: his mother owned at least a dozen such photos. Before committing murders (to paper), she liked to look at a few pictures to put her in theContinue reading “LIKE A MIGHTY QUONKER, Chapter 2”
Author Archives: uncleblogsy
Suds and Songs
The association of wine, women, and song is an ancient one, and carries cultural baggage too multitudinous to unpack in a single blog (or year of blogs). The tradition in comedy of singing among men who have lubricated their windpipes sufficiently to break down discretion is also a bit much to consider in oneContinue reading “Suds and Songs”
MIDWEEK FICTION: Chicken Social
Chicken Social was a small yellow chick with good legs, a loud chirp, and a phone. One day he crossed the road and hopped along the road to see if the worms were fatter I other people’s yard, and came to a high fence around an airport. Since he had never seen anContinue reading “MIDWEEK FICTION: Chicken Social”
LIKE A MIGHTY QUONKER, Chap. 1
Sunlight rolled across the tawny, intermittently furred body of the cave girl. Her chin was up, her face turned away from the sun, and a bright red lower lip stuck out in an imperious pout. Matt turned the page. He reached for the diet Dr. Pepper that he always kept on hand whileContinue reading “LIKE A MIGHTY QUONKER, Chap. 1”
Did They Really…Yeah, They Did
For reasons we needn’t go into, the above has never been one of my favorite gags. But I believe it helps illustrate that our ancestors were not as shy about sex as we like to believe. (As noted hereintofore, that’s how they got to be ancestors.) This is a joke which makes absolutely noContinue reading “Did They Really…Yeah, They Did”
MIDWEEK FICTION: Terms and Condititions
“Are you Emir the Inexhaustible?” “You know the answer, sir. You were in here just last week. You brought in a wallet and I tried to turn you away because I can enchant only things I have never enchanted before, and wallets are always being brought to me.” “I thought I hadContinue reading “MIDWEEK FICTION: Terms and Condititions”
My Life in Pizza
I have never been able to join the debate between Chicago Pizza and New York Pizza. Or New Haven Pizza or deep dish pizza or tavern style pizza or thin crust pizza or ketchup-on-toast pizza (what your thin crust people call pizzas made with a breadlike crust). I have recently realized why this is. Continue reading “My Life in Pizza”
All-American G-Rated Cussin’
As I continue my hopeless quest to figure out why some writers a hundred years ago or thereabouts referred to a handgun as a “roscoe” (I keep waiting for Fatty Arbuckle to be the answer, but no one goes along with it) and my equally futile journey to find out what happened to theContinue reading “All-American G-Rated Cussin’”
CRUSHES OF YORE
I am not sure we have ever discussed in this space the phenomenon of the pin-up joke, a classic of humor for decades. Of course, you know what a pin-up is: THAT goes back for centuries (possibly millennia, depending on whether those cave paintings and ancient sculptures were offerings to a fertility goddess orContinue reading “CRUSHES OF YORE”
QUAINTUPLETS: The Horn of Mr. Horner
Mr. Horner owned a long, black car, which he loved. He washed it four times a week, and he polished the hood ornament and the chrome every day. Twice a month he took it to a mechanic named Harvey, who made sure the engine worked perfectly. Because there was nothing Mr. Horner likedContinue reading “QUAINTUPLETS: The Horn of Mr. Horner”
Blogsy Babbles 