“Wow! You flattened all seventeen zombies with one blast!”
“Yes, Mortal Woman, but I fear this is only the Grim One’s advance party. Now we must move to the inner sanctum of the forest, where I may rebuild my strength.”
“Of course, prince, but…while we’re there…there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you this since I found my way to your sacred glade.”
“Yes, My Lady?”
“Do you mind…would you object terribly….”
“Yes?”
“If we did NOT have sex?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I apologize for being so direct but…so many of you alpha elves in other worlds seem to operate with just the one thought and….”
“I rule a vast kingdom of multiple types of being. I hardly think I can be described as….”
“Hey, I’ve read my fair share of romantasy and I know all about that. Arriving from an alternate dimension just seems to act as an aphrodisiac with you guys. And I don’t deny you look like you’d be a good time. But that’s not why I looked up those ancient dimensional travel spells.”
“Then what do you seek in my domain? Treasure? Power? Those are won only with difficulty, and now that you have warned me….”
“No, no, no. I am NOT setting up one of those Enemies to Lovers plot lines. If you want the truth, Prince…I came around for the wardrobe.”
“The…. You don’t have seamsters or looms in your world?”
“We do. But I wanted a world where the wind is always blowing back my hair (which I seem to have more of here), and where I can stalk around wearing big boots and a swordbelt. You can’t go out in public with a sword in Chicago.”
“What sort of barbaric place is this you speak of?”
“And here my clothes could have pockets, and I could wear jewelry in places where it would just draw unwanted attention back home.”
“Well. I knew when first I saw you in the glade that you were different, but I did not fully understand how much. Come into my private shrubbery.”
“I’m serious, Prince. I can return any time I press this….”
“I hope you will think better of that, Mortal. `I think you may be the special force warrior I need to fend off other dimensional intruders looking for fae booty.”
“I think you could defend your own gold and silver, the way you knocked over those zombies.”
“That is not the kind of booty I mean.”
“I didn’t think anyone in this dimension….”
“Have I that expression right? There have been other visitors from your world. But your priorities are on a higher plane. Become the glade’s Booty Guardian. I can pay in clothing.”
“Swords and pockets and boots? Oh my!”
“Indeed. A different outfit for each paperback cover. How are you at looking roguishly back over your right shoulder?”
“What?”
“I’ll explain later. The fitting room is over here.”
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