See More Sea Shore

    “Shall I sell you something, sir?”

     “Yer kinda cute.  Whatcha got fer sale?”

     “Seashells.”

     “Seashells?  We’s at da beach!”

     “Yes, sir.  I sell seashells by the seashore.”

    “What the hey?  I can walk all over and pick up my own seashells!  Ya can’t make much doing ‘at?”

     “Well, sir, I am able to pick up things besides seashells.”

     “’At’s what I thought.  Tryin’ ta pick ME up, are ya?”

     “You flatter yourself, sir.  I pick up information.”

     “Say what?”

     “People come here to soothe their senses, sir.  And when the senses are soothed, secrets are said.  I got the reward for telling authorities who put pussy in the well, and who got away with Lucy Locket’s pocket.”

     “Ah, I getcha.  Information.  Yeah.”

     “I tipped off the woodcutter about what the Big Bad Wolf was planning for Red Riding Hood, and the wicked witch….  Did you know that apple was only poison rightside up?  She could turn it upside down and take a bite out of it to show Snow White it was safe.”

     “Never hoid that.”

     “No, Snow was so sweetly unsuspicious the sorceress skipped it.  Waste of time.”

     “And guys just talk about this stuff where you can hear it?”

     “Who sees a short shy sweetheart selling shells?  So I sold the suits stories about Tom Tom the Piper’s Son’s hideout.”

     “And ya gets big scores like that often enough ta pay the rent?”

     “There are stories I shan’t sell, sir.  I save such for emergencies.  So far I haven’t even hinted that I heard from one of the men who pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall.”

     “You did, hey?”

     “Yes, but a seashell seller should set something aside.  For a rainy day, you see, sir.  I know a reporter who’d get mighty busy if I told her what I heard about who REALLY killed Cock Robin.  Silly so-and-so’s sure suspect someone else, so….”

     “Um, just ‘cause I’m curious, how much are them seashells?”

    “Sixty simoleons for shiny sizeable shells.  Seven less for simple sandy shells showing souvenir sayings.”

     “Sixty….  That’s seaway robbery!”

     “Suit yourself, sly city slicker.  At six I see Sue from the Sin City Citizen-Circuit to see….”

     “I’ll take five of the fancy ones, okay?”

     “It’s a pleasure doing business, sir.  See you Saturday?  I sell seashells summer Saturdays and Sundays in the shallows from seven to seven.”

     “Nah.  I’ll relax better in a cabin the mountains.”

     “Say, my silly sister Sally sells snowshoes at the summit of Shasta.”