On the Side of Bacon

     I have been known to complain about people paying no attention to this column, but the alternative has its drawbacks.  Someone looked over the last expulsion of words about the difference between pork rinds and cracklin’s, considered the mention of “fatback”, and inquired, “So what about pork belly?  That’s just bacon that hasn’t beenContinue reading “On the Side of Bacon”

Hogging the Snacks

     Pork rinds, which I grew up associating with gas station vending machines and rather ark rundown taverns, now seem to be available at every grocery store and convenience store I go into.  Last week, looking over all the different flavors and wondering once again what the difference is between these and the cracklings myContinue reading “Hogging the Snacks”

Footnotes Afoot

     Dealing with postcards of other days and ways can bring me to the occasional “Huh?” moment.  While this can be entertaining to onlookers, it DOES leave me with the problem of providing footnotes to my wares.  Take this entertaining cartoon, in which our hero, from out of town, asks a policeman, “So, Mr. Watchman,Continue reading “Footnotes Afoot”

Get Busy, Hallmark

     I have a very poor record when it comes to proposing new holidays.  I have sought to increase the market for holiday observances which can help me sell more greeting cards or postcards, but despite my mercenary motivation, my heart is pure.  (The jury is still out on “Pure WHAT?”)      But while lookingContinue reading “Get Busy, Hallmark”

MORE Holiday Needs

     Of course, I reckoned without the ingenuity of Madison Avenue.      Those of you who have read the last column in this space will be aware that I have so far failed utterly to find any conspiracy theories about Theodore Roosevelt.  It isn’t that he is not liable to accusations—no one whose name appearsContinue reading “MORE Holiday Needs”

You’d Scream, Too

     Ice cream should not be complicated.      I am not referring to the making of ice cream, as I might if I wrote a food blog.  I have wrestled with one of those handy dandy ice cream makers in the 1990s, which guaranteed endless delights, and succeeded only in making a flavorful slush.  NorContinue reading “You’d Scream, Too”

SANTA BLOGS XLII

Dear Santa Flops:      Oh you darling fat fraud, there is only one thing I really want from you this Christmas, and that is that you keep far away from my holiday gift list.  How am I supposed to train my relatives to give me useful things, like an online subscription to the Screaming StreamingContinue reading “SANTA BLOGS XLII”

Santa Blogs XLI

Dear Santa Blogs      I have always appreciated your advice on giving pre-owned objects as gifts, but as years go by, i find the wish lists of my grandchildren very difficult to translate.  One grandchild in particular gives me a lot of instructions which are awfully technical.  Are second-hand postcards at all appropriate for suchContinue reading “Santa Blogs XLI”

Larger Trivia Overdose

     Responses to my most recent column were evenly split, about half using the word “Scrooge” and the others using “Grinch.”  (There were a few other words which are new to me, but I got the general gist.)  It occurs to me that perhaps I was a little hard on those people who announce startlingContinue reading “Larger Trivia Overdose”