“This is the shop with the magic devices and legendary weapons for heroes of quests?”
“I don’t insist on heroes, sir. Just customers.”
“You would give magic weapons to a grim lord of evil?”
“No, sir, Sell them.”
“Well, that’s your business. Do you have time travel rings?”
“Well, sir, I….”
“Come now. Every two-bit sorcerer claims he can make one.”
“I have time travel rings, sir. I also stock time travel bracelets, tiaras, and even a pair of time travel fishnet stockings if you so desire, sir. But I don’t like to sell time travel devices. People DO cause such horrible problems for themselves.”
“I quite understand. But I am not planning anything terribly earth-changing. Perhaps I will do no more than go back and reassure certain historical characters that everything will be all right.”
“Presumably according to your own definition of ‘all right’.”
“You have heard the story of the sorcerer who cast a fireball spell incorrectly and burned the entire left side of his body?”
“Not so far today, sir.”
“He’s all right now.”
“A sense of humor is another danger of time travel. Lady Lertigua suffered her sad fate when she donned this time travel tiara. Her husband said he’d believe in it when pigs fly and she asked to be transported to THAT distant day.”
“What happened?”
“She was hit in the head with a flying pig.”
“My main errand is to go back to the early days of Kakstraw, the Demon Lord of Evil Fates, and ask why he did certain things.”
“His attempt to take over the cosmos missed by a narrow margin. Your questions might give him hints that help him succeed. Still, evil overlords aren’t very quick to pick up on ideas not their own.”
“I think I can avoid any danger.”
“Everyone does, sir. Traveling in time can alter your present and future. You won’t even notice the difference.”
“Nonetheless, I wish to buy that ring. What I do with it, as you mention, is not your concern.”
“Very well. How are you willing to pay, sir? Coins, gemstones, that gold ring on your ring finger?”
“This?”
“Yes, the one with the emblem of Kakstraw.”
“Here. Certainly. I can get another.”
“I thought so, My Lord.”
“I can…. You said…ah, you recognized me?”
“You also have your emblem on your collar, your belt buckle, and the toes of your boots, Lord Kakstraw.”
“Well, you will see them all again. When I have corrected my mistakes and control the cosmos, I shall come back and thank you…as you deserve.”
“I’m sure you will, sir. Best of luck avoiding the eagle’s nest at the peak of the Mountain of Dark Despair.”
“Ha! This time I shall…how did you know about that?”
“Well, this is the seventeenth time you’ve come in to buy that ring, sir.”
Blogsy Babbles 