They Didn’t Mean It That Way

    I hope we have established that our ancestors who sent (or at least bought) postcards were not babes in the woods.  We have discussed what they thought about having a bear behind, and looked over those people admitted they had tired donkeys, or suggested you spank their donkeys.  We have looked at a few (by no means all) of their jokes concerning laxatives, and how they took urination in stride as a basic, if occasionally awkward, bodily process.

    We have not yet covered the vast number of postcards about the activities of people on their honeymoon (hinted at above), the vast number of cards which involve obviously illegitimate offspring due to maternal flings (so far I’ve seen rabbits with skunk stripes, colts with mile ears, and a WHOLE lot of baby chicks with duck bills.)  The postcard studies of what roosters do for a living cover at least seventy years, and I do not refer to crowing at sunrise.

    This does NOT mean that they thought exactly as we do about all things dealing with the bathroom and the bedroom.  One or two of their jokes might appear to mean something to us when the makers of the postcard had no such idea in their heads.  The world has changed.  That’s why we study history: if our ancestors were exactly like us, there wouldn’t be much point in reading about them.

    This, for example, is just supposed to make you chuckle at how the lad is overreacting to his milk being spilled.  (You wouldn’t have liked it anyhow, kid: where did you get black milk?)  It is only to us, used to a generation of gags of men and boys getting hit in the crotch, that it seems obvious what the young man running away has done to make the boy spill his milk, and tears.

    I wasted a great deal of time researching this card.  I am still convinced that a hump was some kind of term expressing the form of a wave, and we are encouraged to make the connection between that surfside term and the quite alarming hip measurement of this bathing beauty.  “Humping” existed as a slang term as early as the Revolutionary Wat, but people who performed this were Humpers, never Humps.  I hope we have made that clear.  (Um, you DID think that, didn’t you?  It’s not just MY dirty mind that…next slide, please.”

    Anyway, this one deals with someone who is making an excuse for not writing which will sound good as long as you don’t know about the picture.  (Like all those cards about cleaning up at the race track by men pushing sanitation carts or the salesman who has been making contacts…with the local dancing girls.)  I am certain the double meaning of “feeling low” naturally refers to the height of the sofa, and not at all to wherever she (or he) is feeling (out of sight to us but causing come concern to the dog.)  Anyway, that’s the story you’d tell your Aunt Hazel, even if you told your brother the card had a triple joke.

    This one, however, has no intention of moving along transgressive lines.  It’s our favorite Dutch kids back again, and referring to the fact that a lover would go down on one knee to declare his undying love.  The young lady is suggesting that his knees are patched because he’s been reciting poetry on one knee, and not that…of course, then why would BOTH knees…well, lovers could kneel using both knees, and….

    Oh, well.  Let’s address the 300-pound zucchini in the room.  That is her HAND.  They’re just making a joke about Blind Man’s Buff, and how she’s cheating to get out of his way and never intended…and even if they did, her face is too far from him for that to….

    Coming Soon: Yeah, they meant that one.

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