uncleblogsy

PRESIDENTIAL TALL TALES XI

As noted, the ground is getting treacherous underfoot as we sally forth in search of conspiracy theories about the U.S. Presidents. Ideally, you will recall, we are looking for stories more or less contemporary with the Chief Executive which have since been dismissed by most “mainstream historians”. We hit quicksand hunting for anything aboutContinue reading “PRESIDENTIAL TALL TALES XI”

DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XVII

“It’s only a surface scratch,” Bott said, swiveling the captain’s chair left and right. “I can fix it myself.” “Don’t you touch my ship!” Nubry shouted. The librarian strode halfway across the Drover’s bridge and back, shaking both fists above her head. Bott noticed the dark spots under her arms again. “Just leaveContinue reading “DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XVII”

MORE Holiday Needs

Of course, I reckoned without the ingenuity of Madison Avenue. Those of you who have read the last column in this space will be aware that I have so far failed utterly to find any conspiracy theories about Theodore Roosevelt. It isn’t that he is not liable to accusations—no one whose name appearsContinue reading “MORE Holiday Needs”

PRESIDENTIAL TALL TALES X (with trees)

Listen, I am NOT giving up on my countdown of presidential conspiracy theories, false tales of conspiracies, preferably contemporary with the man himself, but I MAY have to skip Teddy Roosevelt. This would make me unhappy, as Teddy seems to me the sort of person who would ATTRACT conspiracy theories. But the InterwebsContinue reading “PRESIDENTIAL TALL TALES X (with trees)”

DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XVI

Being an Imperial Sheriff did not allow for any display of nerves. Her father had told her as much while breaking her of that childhood habit of thrusting her entire right fist into her mouth. But Sherriff Parimat was unable to keep herself from rubbing that hand on her right thigh. She had noContinue reading “DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XVI”

FICTION FRIDAY: Rendezvous

“Oh no! Who’s that out there?” “Hush, darlin’. Ain’t no one but me.” “At last! I’ve been waiting…. I wish we didn’t have to meet up in the old burying ground!” “Well, Nellie Belle, I cain’t come into town. Not since they figgered out who looted the stage an’ broke theContinue reading “FICTION FRIDAY: Rendezvous”

TALL TALE TIME

This seemed to me the right postcard to show on a morning (or possibly afternoon) after the holiday we set up in honor of clock-watching. When some of us have spent our evening waiting for the two hands to meet at midnight so we would be positioned to kiss the right person (or aContinue reading “TALL TALE TIME”

DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XV

Lacking any other plan, Bott and Nubry moved in the direction of the voice, crawling over crumpled enforcers and under the traveling square of the Head Librarian, which zipped back and forth, dragging its unconscious rider. When Bott saw that the source of the voice was Wanure Smalen, wearing a transparent gas mask, heContinue reading “DRAGONSHELF AND THE DROVER XV”

You’d Scream, Too

Ice cream should not be complicated. I am not referring to the making of ice cream, as I might if I wrote a food blog. I have wrestled with one of those handy dandy ice cream makers in the 1990s, which guaranteed endless delights, and succeeded only in making a flavorful slush. NorContinue reading “You’d Scream, Too”

SANTA BLOGS XLII

Dear Santa Flops: Oh you darling fat fraud, there is only one thing I really want from you this Christmas, and that is that you keep far away from my holiday gift list. How am I supposed to train my relatives to give me useful things, like an online subscription to the Screaming StreamingContinue reading “SANTA BLOGS XLII”