“Ready for that three o-clock appoint…oh, it’s you.”
“I’ve got it this time. I truly have.”
“Mr. Forsyth, we at the Society for the Proliferation of Conspiracy Knowledge have a lot to do since the invention of online communication. We have bent over backward to try and disseminate your pyramid theory, but it just hasn’t generated any follow-up.”
“But I tell you, my latest translations from the Ancient Scroll of Thlekethron has filled in the gaps!”
“Sir, there are other people spreading word that the pyramids gather cosmic energy.”
“That’s true. But the Scroll….”
“And your claim, based on a scroll you found in the leftovers from your neighbor’s garage sale….”
“He did a lot of hiking in Europe when he was in college.”
“…has done very little more but add one more voice to the idea that the cosmic energy was being gathered to preserve stasis chambers for a race of ancient astronauts twelve feet tall and possessed of technology beyond our understanding. It’s nothing new, Mr. Forsyth.”
“But it’s all right there in the scroll, I tell, you: the whole plan, even the time and date they plan to return and bring the benefits of their science to our society!”
“Yes. Which, let me just check your file, was to happen at noon, Chicago time, on January 1, 1939.”
“Yes, but I….”
“And your claim that governments everywhere somehow hid these giants all through the Second World War….”
“That was just a hypothesis based on the information I had at the time. I admit I was wrong. But I’ve been working with an AI translator….”
“On a language no one else has ever seen.”
“It has similarities to the script in Voynich, but that’s not the point. I have new translations.”
“Okay, Forsyth. NOW what date will the giants return?”
“I don’t have any changes on the date.”
“You shock me, Forsyth, but that is at least moderately interesting. What have you repaired in your extremely leaky theory?”
“It’s in the lead-up to the plan to arrange the stasis chambers under the pyramids around the world. The leader of the giants, Wisdomspeak was working extensively with, Quickeyes, his ‘klatzaplud’, which I was translating as ‘Vizier’ or ‘Advisor’. I missed the connection with the title of Wisdomspeak’s consort, the ‘damaplud’. And now everything is clear.”
“To you, perhaps, Forsyth.”
“The Klatzaplud was an advisor, but his real title translates as ‘brother-in-law’. And the sentence about him ‘being aware of a wise old scientist’ actually translates that he ‘knew a guy’!”
“So….”
“So this proto-pharoah Wisdomspeak trusted his brother-in-law to set up all the technology. And the stasis chambers never worked.”
“Great Scott!”
“That’s right. Nothing happened on January 1, 1939 because Quickeyes got his tech from some charlatan who scammed the….”
“Hang on a second. I need to get Francis and his Truth Team on this right away. It’ll knock those latest flat-earthers right off their disc!”
Blogsy Babbles 