“Magic Mirror on the Wall, are you that most famous mirror of all?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“And you answer truthfully every question I ask?”
“Been doing it so far, Mistress. That’s two of two.”
“Just a plain straightforward truthful answer? No ifs or hidden….”
“Let me tell you about that, Kiddo Socko.”
“What happened to ‘Mistress’?”
“Well, if you want plain unfiltered truth, you don’t look like you’d be anybody’s mistress.”
“I’ve always wondered why the Wicked Queen didn’t throw you out a window.”
“She wasn’t big on windows, that Queen; the castle looked scarier without ‘em, she said. But if we can get back to the subject, I WILL tell you the truth, Mistress-or-Not. In the way that makes for the most interesting story.”
“What’s THAT mean?”
“The phrase ‘fairest in the land’ is open to interpretation. Depending on your standards, there were lots of people fairer than the Queen. Or not, especially if you went by her personal standards. Though at night, when she doffed the Goth rags and put on that powder blue teddy….”
“Never mind about that. Tell me the truth about truth…in your interpretation.”
“Snow White, now, had all the makings of the heroine of a really dramatic story. Of course, once I mentioned her, it was up to the Queen to decide what to do, so I couldn’t be sure if it would be a tragedy, a comedy, a multi-volume romantasy series, or what have you. I never could have predicted the whole huntsman thing, and the dwarfs and their cabin weren’t on my radar at all, but I knew SOMETHING exciting would come of her.”
“Is any of that in the best interests of your owner?”
“It’s really up to my ‘owner’ to inquire into the rules and restrictions. Which—my compliments—you’re the first one to do. There was this one guy who wanted to know the best way to become famous. I never told him he HAD to strip naked, paint himself blue, and dance his way into the Bubble Day Parade juggling swords. But he WAS famous in a matter of seconds.”
“And dead?”
“He was less lucky than that when the swords landed.”
“I don’t want to know more about him.”
“Then there was this milkmaid who asked to know how she could be really valued by men.”
“This isn’t another dancing naked in the streets story, is it?”
“No, but it worked out about as well. You should have seen the reward they offered on the Wanted Posters.”
“O-Kay. Well, my first question was going to be about where I could make my fortune, but….”
“Miles from here, under the ice in a secret polar lair, lives a cult whose hoard of gold no living man knows is there.”
“I see. Polar lair. No sword juggling. And there’s no easier way to make my fortune?”
“Oh, sure. But do you want something mundane like ‘Stop talking to mirrors and get back to work’ or do you want a really great story?”
“North Pole or South?”
Blogsy Babbles 