“What can I help you with today, sir?”
“I need money, fast.”
“I should warn you, sir, that the last person who attempted robbery here is now the stuffed mermaid you see on the wall over….”
“I wasn’t going to try it. But can you sell me something that will make me so much money so fast that I can pay you well and still have some left?”
“I do have this magic ring.”
“That’s a tin circle with a pebble set in it.”
“It is well camouflaged, sir; the witch who crafted it was a woman of strange whims.. This grants the purchaser the power to turn anything he touches into gold.”
“I’ve heard about such things. No, thank you. Somebody always winds up turning their daughter or their wife into a….”
“The witch knew those stories as well, sir, so the ring comes with safeguards. If you wear these elytra gloves under the ring, nothing will turn to gold, since you are not touching the ring. And, if you say “Pumpernickel” three times, the ring will transform anything you mistakenly turned into gold back into its original form.”
“It sounds better and better. Um, why are you selling it, then?”
“I enjoy the work, sir. It isn’t about just piling up gold.”
“Hey, I’d like to have that attitude myself some day. How much do you want?”
“I need some token payment to make it a purchase, but after that I will take only as much gold s you make the first time you put on the ring.”
“Interesting. And if I don’t turn anything into gold while I’m here? Or what if I touch YOU?”
“Part of the enjoyment of the job, sir, is seeing how these things work out. What were you thinking of touching first?”
“I have half a dozen pennies in my pocket here.”
“Gold pennies are a novelty, sir. If you touch nothing else while you’re here, that will do nicely.”
“Done and done. Here’s the copper penny. Give me the ring.”
“Here you go, sir. And the gloves with….”
“Ha! I hope you like that penny, because I’m not…I’m not…I’m not moving.”
“Well, no, sir. You are currently touching your clothes and boots, and now that they are solid gold you won’t….”
“Pumpernickel! Pumpernickel! Pumpernickel!”
“I’m glad you remember the spell, sir. Very good.”
“But I still can’t move1 It’s not working!”
“True. The witch, as I say, had strange whims. And since you were touching the ring, it is now itself gold, and no longer the magic tin….”
“But what now? I can’t just stand here in your shop forever.”
“No indeed, sir: it will scare away customers. I’ll just fetch the tin snips.”
Blogsy Babbles 