Nine to Four-Thirty-Seven

     Sorry to throw things off by publishing Friday’s blog on Monday, but those people at the hospital adored having me there so much they had to be convinced to let me go.  But I refuse to let that brief indisposition cause the world to collapse into tears because of the lack of an Old Joke Quiz.  So here are a few more really old jokes about the working world, without their punchlines, which will be found, if you need to find them, in the answer section at the bottom.

     J1.Basil was in business for himself, but you wouldn’t have known it for the first week.  He spent most of his time rearranging the blotter on his desk, deciding exactly where he wanted his (empty) file cabinets, and pacing, waiting for a client to walk into the establishment.

     He was thrilled to see a shadow approach the window of his office door, and jumped into hi s chair.  Grabbing up the telephone, he snapped, “I don’t want to hear excuses!  I made a promise to my client based on your estimate, and what I tell my clients is sacred!  Just a sec.  Come in; I’ll be with you in a moment.  Listen, someone’s here and I can’t bother with this any longer.  Either get that equipment to my client, or I’ll see you never get another order!”

     He slammed down the receiver and smiled at his visitor.  “And what can I do for you, sir?”

     The man looked him over, and said, “(          )”

J2.Basil stayed in business somehow, and after a month or so, made enough to hire a secretary.  One day, a client walked in the door, and she buzzed her intercom to let him know.  Basil, who had been playing solitaire with an old deck of cards, called back through the little machine, “I just have to finish up this call and I can see clients.  Get my broker on the other line, would you?”

     The client was duly impressed until the secretary answered, “Yes, sir.  (          )”

J3.The next day, Basil was playing solitaire again, when he heard his secretary say, “It sure is!” and hang up.

     He peeked under a red seven to see if the other black six was there, and heard her answer the phone again.  “It sure is!” said the secretary, and hung up.

     He was gathering the cards to deal again, when the phone rang a third time.  The secretary barked, “It sure is!” and slammed down the receiver.

     Basil put his head out of his office to ask, “What’s going on, Miss Gulder?”

     The secretary shook her head.  “This crank keeps calling us and saying (          ).”

J4.The reporter from the Wall Street Journal was interviewing the CEO of a new shampoo plant.  “And how many people work at your factory?” she inquired.

     The CEO replied, “(          )”

J5.That CEO had a son who, when he finished college, got orders from Dad to start his own business, to show he was worthy to step up in the firm one day.  On his way to lunch a few months later, the CEO stopped by the shop and found the place filled with customers.  Gratified, he asked his son, “How did you get so many people in the place?  is it your advertising?”

     “No, Dad, it’s my pricing,” said Junior.  “I sell bicycles for eighty dollars.”

     “That is a good price for a bike,” said Dad.  “What do you pay for them?”

     “A hundred and twenty,” said Junior.

     Dad turned red.  “How do you expect to be a success if you take a loss on every sale.”

     “Easy,” said Junior.  “(          )”

J6.”So how’s business?”

     “Well, the economy’s down, the pandemic isn’t much help, and I can’t get much product to sell.  But we had a fire and the insurance company paid $200,000, so I’m okay.”

     “I was having those same problems, but my warehouses were wiped out in a flood, and the insurance brought in $500,000.”

     “That is good.  So tell me, (          )”

I know you keep track of your investments online, and have the latest banking app, so you knoe asll the ANSWERS.  But here they are anyhow.

     A1.I’m here to hook up your phone

     A2.Stock or pawn?

     A3.Long distance from Paris

     A4.About two-thirds


     A6.How do you start a flood?

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