People have had their portraits on postcards for sundry reasons. Some are so famous that postcard companies print pictures of them, knowing the public will buy famous faces. Others pay to have postcards printed of them in HOPES of celebrity. Sometimes that worked and the people became famous enough that the postcard companies paid to put their faces on cardboard.
But celebrity is a slippery thing. I would like to show you a few famous faces which you might not have run into on Facetwitter or other such feeds. Some were famous when the postcard was printed and faded a bit while others became famous after these postcards came out.
Politicians like to get their faces out before the public, Abraham Lincoln ironically being the first candidate to understand the importance of photography and famous faces. (Abraham Lincoln was confident that he was one of the ugliest men on earth and so hated having his picture taken that only one photographer ever caught him smiling.)
The gent holding a dog at the top of this column is Peter Peyser, who knew enough of politics to put out a postcard with his family (and dogs) on it. He served three terms as Congressman from New York as a Republican, was out of office for two years, and then went back to Congress for two terms as a Democrat. But what makes his postcards of extra interest is the woman standing on his left, who became a celebrity in her own right. This is Penny Peyser, whose acting career was split between stage and screen (Rich Man, Poor Man, Crazy Like a Fox, Love Tony). You get a couple of celebrities for the price of one (AND a baby and neat dogs.)
We have something similar in the family picture postcard urging you to vote for John C. Culver, who wound up doing ten years as Congressman from Iowa and six years as Senator. The secret celebrity here is sitting next to the dog. Chet grew up to become Governor of Iowa, showing these things can run in families.
This man was famous for running, and for selling postcards of himself. Wilhelm Voigt was a shoemaker, but did a little thieving as a sideline, and found himself disliked by the police wherever he went. In 1906, wearing various secondhand bits of uniform he’d bought secondhand, he traveled to the town of Kopenick, started giving orders (which were obeyed, since he had a uniform on) and ended by ordering the arrest of the mayor and the town treasurer, confiscating the town treasury for investigative purposes. He was even more unpopular with the authorities now, but by the time they caught him, the story had traveled fast and far even without Interwebs, and everyone was laughing. As the Hauptmann von Kopenick (Captain from Kopenick) he went on the lecture tour, sold postcards of himself, and just became a symbol of what some people will do when they see a man in uniform. He became a national folk hero, with countless movie and comic book versions of the story. This is the man himself, acting out part of HIS version of the story (in which he claimed he had no IDEA what people would do when he bought an old uniform just to keep warm.)
Major Mite here has just as much right to his title as Wilhelm had to his, but during World War II he DID do recruiting posters for the USMC. He was a circus performer, as you might have guessed, and such folk knew the value of postcards from a very early era. Clarence Chesterfield Howerton’s main claim to fame TODAY, however, is that at 2 feet 4 inches tall, he was the smallest Munchkin in The Wizard of Oz. So you have seen this celebrity more often than any of the others. (He apparently had no lines, so you have to look for him yourself.)
If you have not seen this lady as much as Major Mite, you have probably still seen her more than once. Ellaline Terriss was an actress with a sparkling personality which led to a long career of being attacked by critics who claimed that her success was due to a. being so popular no one noticed shortcomings in her performances, b. being a sympathetic heroine after the murder of her actor father by a deranged fan, and c. being married to a real go-getter of an actor/director/producer. Be that as it might, she wrote and produced and performed at his side, and the team of Ellaline and Sir Seymour Hicks could hardly go wrong with the public. IF the name Seymour Hicks rings a bell, he was, among many other things, a specialist in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge, playing him for decades on the stage and in two motion pictures, one of which, from 1935, has been one of the most shown versions on American television since 1946. I am told Ellaline is to be found in both these Carols, though I have yet to track down exactly what she did in either one.
This is why people buy these scruffy old postcards. You never know when you’re going to spot a celebrity who just isn’t celebrated at the moment.
So I thought I would spend a little time today on postcards showing one of the most popular of Christmas animals. I mean, of course…what’s that, Radish Ribbon Candy? The reindeer? Well, no. Actually, I have very few reindeer postcards in my inventory. That’s why I had to start this column off with an elk instead.
No, I am going more for the Nativity scenes of our childhood, and that manger we saw in those snowglobes that no one has ever explained to me. The Scriptural authority for snow falling on the manger is…..
What’s that, Mango marzipan? The donkey? Well, no, not exactly. I’ve done a lot of columns about donkeys on postcards, and I suppose my readers are getting tired of….
What readers? You, child, will be getting sticks and coal in your stocking.
Why do I think my readers aren’t tired of everything else I write about? Not only are you NOT going to get any coal in your stocking, I expect Santa will actually take the stocking away from your chimney. If I may get along with….
Yes, artichoke almondbark, the donkey has a certain right to be seen at the manger, and also what I wanted to talk about, the…..
No, not the cow, either. We are not going to get to the….
Yes, I KNOW there were probably sheep as well! But we are dealing here with my sale stock, and I wanted to discuss my camels. When you have a blog of your own, you can write about the Christmas birds who wait each year to greet the Mystic Bow Tie, but we….
See what you made me do?
All I wanted to do, see, was use the manger and the three Wise Men to show a few camel postcards, not especially Christmas-related. I had no intention of getting into a debate on what animals do and do not belong in your snowglobe. People do, you know. I don’t know where the notion of the Magi riding camels came into the picture, though camels were used for transportation, and they might as well have used camels as anything else. There are people who spend their careers arguing about just the camels which are in the Bible. Are they two-humped or one-humped? (One: the two-hump camels come from elsewhere). Are all the camels in the Bible camels or just representational animals applied to periods and people who couldn’t have had camels because camels were not yet broken for riding at that point in history? Why would a camel even WANT to walk through the eye of a needle? It goes on and on.
Camels are on postcards because of their legendary ease at going without a drink. That has nothing to do with Christmas, particularly at certain office parties I have attended.
Even here we have people who argue the way you do with a poor blogger. How many days DOES a camel generally go without a drink? And is the camel proud of this, or would it just as soon indulge?
The folks involved with the Mystic Shrine know what I’m talking about.
Once upon a time, though, a Mr. Thomas Nast, who gave us Republican elephants and Santa Claus, among his other icons, decided a camel should represent the Prohibition Party. The Prohibition Party, which continues to this day, accepted this mascot and, somewhere around the nineteen-teens brought out a series of cheerfully colored camels who were very proud of their non-drinking.
These camels could be localized, having a large space to put in a city or a meeting time for a Prohibition gathering.
Not only did they come in all colors and shades, these camels even came in assorted moods, as in this case, where the whole drinking subject is abandoned for a thoroughly postcard-style camel joke.
No, mincemeat muffin, I do NOT have one in which the camel wishes anyone a Merry Christmas. Why don’t you make like a camel and go follow a star someplace?
I am told this can be poisonous if taken in large quantities. I do not wish to know who ate enough Lobelia to find that out. Our ancestors also called this Gagroot and Vomitroot, so apparently a lot of people tried it.
LOCUST “Affection Beyond the Grave”
LOCUST, HONEY “Sweetness”
LONDON-PRIDE “Frivolity”
I get the impression floriographers were trying to make a point about people who were proud of living in the city, surrounded by frivolous things which took one’s mind off the contemplation of flowers. Robert Tyas seems to be the source of this sentiment.
Lote Tree: see JUJUBE TREE
LOTUS “Eloquence”*
Also known as the Lotos, this should not be mistaken for the Lotus which is the namesake of, say, the Lotus Position: that’s the next entry. This Lotus was originally a woman named Lotis who was fleeing Priapus and turned into this tree. Priapus is one of those gods whose myths cannot be discussed in a nice family book. He was the deification, or personification, of the male reproductive organ, and if you see some of his statues, you can imagine what his myths were like. He was also, by the by, the God of Gardens.
LOTUS FLOWER “Estranged Love”
One lover has forgotten the other, perhaps; the Lotus has been associated with forgetfulness since the men of Odysseus, who should have been odysseying around, landed on the Isle of Lotus-Eaters, ate lotuses themselves, and forgot all about their responsibilities. Odysseus had to have them dragged back to the ship. Most authorities believe what they ate was this water lily type of Lotus.
If you were dying to know, this Lotus was also once a young woman. She had a mad crush on Hercules, and died of sheer annoyance when he failed to notice her hanging around. She should have forgotten him.
LOTUS LEAF “Recantation”
This means a leaf of the Lotus Flower, above, and the meaning probably relates to the forgetfulness theme. You recant if you go back on your previous story, perhaps forgetting it. For examples, see any list of campaign promises.
LOVE-IN-A-MIST “Perplexity, Puzzlement”
This is Nigella damascene, Common Fennel Flower, or Love-In-a-Puzzle, hence the meaning. Sometimes it is known as Ragged Lady, in which case the floriographers made the meaning “Bad Housekeeping”. Richard Folkard, Jr. says it is also known as Kiss-Me-Twice-Before-I-Rise, thus beating out the Pansy, which is known as Kiss-Me-Ere-I-Rise.
LOVE-IN-IDLNESS “Love At First Sight”
See also PANSY
LOVE-LIES-A-BLEEDING “Hopeless Not Heartless”
This means “I am failing to respond to you not because I am heartless but because I know I have no hope of ever deserving your love”. Or something like that. This is an amaranth and is sometimes known, in this efficient and romanceless day, as Love-Lies-Bleeding.
LUCERNE “Life”*
This is another name for Alfalfa. Robert Tyas, among others, notes that when Lucerne stops growing in a spot, it will never grow there again, just as life will not return to a dead body.
Lunaria: see MOONWORT
*LUNGWORT “Thou Art My Life”
LUPINE “Voraciousness”
This was named for Lupus, the Wolf, because it grows in poor soil. See, people found it growing there and assumed it had caused the poor soil, voraciously devouring all the nutrients, like a wolf among livestock. Both wolf and lupine were being slandered. Bad soil causes the lupines, rather than the other way around. Lupines grow so well in bad land that they are now touted as an efficient food crop, a development perhaps foreseen by highwayman Dennis Moore in the eighteenth century.
Early floriographers seem to have preferred “Dejection” because Vergil had written of “the sad lupine”. But since he never explained why lupines struck him as depressed, this rather leaves us where we started.
LYCHNIS “Religious Enthusiasm”
This is the flower of St. John the Baptist, and is supposed to light up on his day. Keep your eye on it.
Lychnis, Meadow: see RAGGED ROBIN
LYCHNIS, SCARLET “Sunbeaming Eyes”
Lythrum: see WILLOW HERB
M
MADDER “Calumny”*
Henry Phillips relates scandalous gossip to the red dye derived from Madder. Legend says that if an animal eats madder, even its bones will be stained red, the way calumny will mark a reputation forever.
*MADRONA “Unity”
MADWORT, ROCK “Tranquility”*
The Greeks are said to have used this plant to alleviate madness, tranquilizing the patient.
MAGNOLIA “Love of Nature”
Sarah Josepha Hale came up with this. She doesn’t say how.
Sarah was also the author of a littler fortune-telling game, Fortuna Flora, which appears in later editions of her flower language. Since the copyright has long since expired, I thought about adding it somewhere in this book. But forget it. You have to find your flower based on the week you were born, the month you were born, and your temperament: lymphatic, sanguine,
bilious, or nervous. The you add the numbers of the birthdates and the number of your temperament, and…. I’ve read the dang thing five times and I’m still not sure how it works.
MAGNOLIA, LAUREL-LEAVED “Dignity”
MAGNOLIA, SWAMP “Perseverance”
MAIDWORT “Celibacy”
MALLOW “Mildness”
You are suggesting that the recipient has a sweet disposition.
*MALLOW, DWARF “Meekness”
MALLOW, MARSH “Beneficence”*
Yes, the marshmallow in your hot chocolate is named for this. The meaning comes about because apparently just about every part of the plant can be turned into food in one way or another.
Mallow, Syrian: see ALTHEA
Mallow, venetian: see HIBISCUS
MALON CREEANA “Will You Share My Future?”
MANCHINEAL TREE “Falsehood”*
This is another poisonous plant. The fruit smells good, according to Claire Powell, but contains a burning liquid that makes it a shock to bite into. Charles M. Skinner notes a belief that even to sleep in the shade of a manchineel tree must inevitably be fatal.
MANDRAKE “Rarity”*
The mandrake is one of the most popular supernatural herbs of all time, because our distant ancestors thought the root was shaped like a human being. It was believed to scream when uprooted, was eaten as an aid to fertility, and was so rare and mysterious that many floriographers recoiled and made it mean “Horror”.
MAPLE “Reserve”*
The leaves are slow to open, and slow to fall, which, in the eyes of the floriographers, suggests that the maple “keeps itself to itself”.
*MAPLE, SUGAR “identification”
Marguerite: see DAISY
MARIANTHUS “Hope for Better Days”
MARIGOLD “Grief”
Sheila Pickles says this flower grieves for the sun, folding up its leaves when the sun sets. That’s reasonable, I guess, but other plants do it, too. The Marigold seems to suggest unpleasantness wherever it goes: the French call it “Souci”, or “Worry”, while its name in Mexico means “Flower of Death”.
*MARIGOLD GARLAND “Jealousy”
MARIGOLD WITH CYPRESS “Despair”
MARIGOLD WITH POPPIES “I Will Soothe Your Grief”
*MARIGOLD WITH ROSES “The Bittersweet and Pleasant Pains of Love”
*MARIGOLD WITH WOODBINE AND BLACKTHORN “I Prophesy That You Will Marry Soon”
*MARIGOLD WITH ANY FLOWER “The Thread of Life, Made of Joys and Sorrow”
MARIGOLD, AFRICAN “Vulgar Minds”
This was Henry Phillips’s idea: he says the odor is offensive and vulgar. This gave him an excellent opportunity to launch into a little homily about people with vulgar minds. Henry’s flower language book is bigger on homilies than on poetry.
Marigold, Fig: see MESEMBRYANTHEMUM
MARIGOLD, FRENCH “Jealousy”
MARIGOLD, GARDEN “Uneasiness”
Marigold, Marsh: see COWSLIP
MARIGOLD, PROPHETIC “Prediction”
The meaning comes from the name, but where did the name come from? John Ingram says the flower was used for predicting romantic success, the original “She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not” flower. But see below.
MARIGOLD, SMALL CAPE “Presage”
This means about the same as “Predict” or “Foreshadow”. Claire Powell says the flower fails to open in the morning if it is going to rain later in the day, and therefore was used to predict weather.
MARIGOLD, YELLOW “Sacred Affections”
MARJORAM “Blushes”
Henry Phillips says the leaves of some species are delicately tinged with red. Other experts say the Romans crowned married couples with marjoram after the wedding ceremony, whereupon the newlyweds would blush. I couldn’t say, myself; I wasn’t there.
*MARJORAM, GREAT “Falsehood”
Oregano, to you.
\MARVEL OF PERU “Timidity”
This is also known as Four O’Clocks, from its tendency to open at exactly four o’clock in the afternoon/ This makes it timid, see, since it shuns the light of day and blooms only toward evening, when it can hide in the shadows. But check out what they said about Thornapple.
Mastic: see SCHINUS
Mayflower: see ARBUTUS, TRAILING
MEADOWSWEET “Uselessness”*
The early floriographers saw no nutritional or medicinal uses for this plant. (Mme. De Latour asked “But is it nothing then, to be beautiful?”) You will find a long debate about whether it was actually sweet, too. Some said it was sweet enough to perfume an entire meadow, while others claimed it smelled like nothing much. Geoffrey Grigson suggests the name comes from its use in sweetening mead, a honey-based booze much favored in northern Europe. As to its medicinal uses, about the time floriography started to trend downhill, somebody distilled salicylic acid from it, the first step to that aspirin you have in your medicine chest now.
Uselessness, indeed!
*MEDLAR “Timidity and Peevishness”
Mercury: see BONUS HENRICUS
MESEMBRYANTHEMUM “Idleness”
Like Marvel of Peru, this is a flower which does not bloom first thing in the morning, like some people I know. This time, however, the floriographers saw nothing to praise in this, basically accusing the plant of loafing.
MEZEREON “Desire to Please”*
This is known primarily as Mezereuum today. Henry Phillips says the meaning comes from the flower’s coquettish tendency to flaunt its spring wardrobe in the dead of winter. And coquettes, he goes on, have a desire to please. Mm-hmm.
MIGNONETTE “Your Good Qualities Surpass Your Good Looks”*
This is intended as a double compliment, though just how far you’ll get with “You sure are nicer than you are good-looking”, I couldn’t say. You try it and drop me a postcard. The word “mignonette”, by the way, means “charming little thing”, and not, as Dorothea Dix has it, “My Little Nun”.
Anyhow, this is a plant with teeny flowers but an enchanting aroma. The meaning comes direct from a quaint little tale about the Count of Walsthein, his beautiful and fashionable fiancée Amelia, and her mousy little cousin Charlotte. They were all sitting around one day, attaching mottos to flowers to pass the time, the way one does on a slow afternoon, and…oh, it goes on and on. I bet you can guess how it all worked out.
Milfoil: see YARROW
*MILKWEED “Young and Foolish”
MILKWORT “Hermitage”*
Claire Powell says hermits always planted this around their caves. I suppose some of them might have.
I suppose I could look it up on the Interwebs and find out who gets credit for inventing situation comedy. Every writer has a different answer, I suppose, unless the world has divided into two camps, one arguing for Greek playwrights and another for medieval troubadours. But they did exist long before The Honeymooners. (That alone should get me hate mail. “How dare you mention the Honeymooners when Fibber McGee and Molly had the territory covered on radio long before, etc. etc.” We live in an age of lively debate, to call it nothing nastier.)
In any case, the postcard cartoonists were well aware of all the themes which made the sitcom. Marital woes were at the top of everyone’s list, and in every society where marriage was considered vital, infidelity was considered vital to comedy. A wife walking in on a husband at precisely the wrong moment, as seen above, was one of the most basic story motifs, whether the husband was actually being faithful, just thinking about it, or just in the wrong place at the wrong time. (Some writers prefer their heroes to be guilty and some innocent in these situations. I don’t have time or resources (or the brains) to consider the cultural distinctions right now.)
Is this chap from the early days of radio (or wireless) acquainted with the young ladies in question or just wishing he was? Unnecessary to know, really: the joke is in his wife being unaware of the wireless communication.
A standard gag in the sitcom is watching the hero stammer as his wife turns up evidence, which she may or may not pretend to misunderstand. (Some fabric softener might have prevented this situation: let us all take a lesson from this.)
Unlikely though the evidence might seem from a logical standpoint, we are talking sitcom here, not pure logic. Surely, in the days of homes with servants, the cook was not ALWAYS baking, her hands covered in flour. But you’d never know it from the postcards of the time.
In the situation comedies of our ancestors, though, the cook was often busy entertaining passing policemen, who always found the kitchen while walking a cold beat. The master of the house was more likely to be found fondling the upstairs or downstairs maid. (Note to self: see if anyone has already written a song called “I fondled the downstairs maid upstairs.”)
Of course, the master of the house had to go to work. Which led to confusion about what he was working on.
I used to work at a place myself where, according to legend, one maintenance man’s chief job description was to keep an eye on the doors and if the wife of the CEO dropped by, he was to get to the CEO’s office before she did so that certain female members of staff could head for a side door.
According to the same legend, this never especially fooled the wife of the CEO, just prevented her – usually – from catching hubby with his hands in the cookie jar (so to speak.)
There was the famous double standard in those days, of course. You DO realize that it was always the husband who did the cheating, and never the pure, poor wife. Well, you’re realizing wrong.
The sitcom of the postcard (and the pop song AND the stage farce) did not discriminate. The Mrs. was just as likely to stray as the Mister whenever it was funny.
The evidence might seem to be more obvious in her case.
I was thinking of doing one more column discussing synonyms for the human seat which have turned up on postcards over the years, but as people have suggested they find this subject tiresome, we will move on to those turkey recipes I mentioned a couple of weeks ago instead. (Keeping in mind that this is NOT a food blog.)
I would like to consider, very briefly, the Turkey Sandwich: that was, after all, the main side effect of the custom I talked about in a pre-Thanksgiving column in which a bachelor cooked a turkey about every other Sunday, providing him with meat for sandwiches for at least two weeks thereafter. (One turkey breast was saved in the freezer for the second week. If you are queasy about how long to keep leftovers in the refrigerator, just make bigger sandwiches.) I used whatever bread was on sale that week, and spread it with Miracle Whip or, if I was beginning to get bored with turkey sandwiches, Kraft Horseradish Sauce.
If you are making any of these recipes at home, everything is “to taste”. I will not indulge in arguments with people who prefer Hellman’s or Duke’s mayonnaise. It’s a matter of what tastes good to YOU. (I did try Kraft horseradish mustard once, and regard this as a mistake.)
We now move into more personal, not to say idiosyncratic, recipes. My Turkey Noodle Soup requires a cereal bowl of the gelatin you poured off the turkey and set in the fridge. (See original column) Nowadays, this results in a bowl of solid gelatin with very tiny layer of turkey fat on top. Scrape the fat off and toss it into a medium sauce pot. Into this you cut up some leftover turkey (dark meat from a leftover thigh is excellent). Cook the turkey in the fat on low to medium heat until it is warm, and then slide in the solid gelatin from the cereal bowl. Turn the heat up and bring the gelatin to a boil.
Now ease gently into the boiling gelatin one package of ramen noodles. Throw the seasoning packet away, unless you really like that flavor. (To taste, remember.) It has a lot of salt in it, and so does the gelatin, but use your own judgement. Reduce heat and cook until the noodles are soft enough for you.
In a separate bowl, toss a half cup of frozen vegetables; I used California Mix, but again, this is to your taste. All that matters is that the vegetables be small. Do nothing to them but toss them into that bowl. When the noodles have reached the texture you like, pour the hot gelatin and noodles into the bowl with the vegetables. By the time you sit down, the hot gelatin will have cooked the vegetables. Eat your soup.
A cereal bowl of gelatin is also needed for my Leftover Turkey Pizza. You start in much the same way: heating some chunks of turkey in a bowl and then sliding the solid gelatin in on top. However, here you want to boil that gelatin until it reduces. This takes too long for some bachelors, and perhaps only HALF the bowl of gelatin would be a better idea. What you want is to cook the mixture down until it would be mistaken for pizza sauce.
In the meantime, you have your pizza crust ready, whether you made it from a recipe or a mix, buy it out of the freezer section, or picked up one ready made. It should be baked and ready to go when you cannot wait for the gelatin to boil down any more. Pour the gelatin and turkey mixture onto the crust. If this is thick enough NOT to leak all over the pan and the floor, you have done it correctly. Top with any other leftovers from Thanksgiving you want on a pizza, cover it all with your favorite cheese, and bake until the cheese has melted. The result is reminiscent of a hot turkey and cheese sandwich.
We are out of space, so I cannot spell out my top secret recipe for Turkey Liver Pizza. Yes, I HAVE made this, and on several occasions, because I like it. It is NOT one of those “Even if you hate liver, you’ll like this” recipes. It is a “If you hate liver, you’ll hate this too” recipe. I cannot abide people who make you think you’re getting something special when they’re just feeding you another version of something you loathe.
Such people are as tiresome as those who insist on discussing something you didn’t want to know about. Which is why we have avoided postcards about buttums this time.
Plantlorists tend to make any reference to a lady in a flower name symbolic of the Virgin Mary. Floriographers seem not to have seen it that way.
LADY’S SLIPPER “Capricious beauty”
*LADY’S TRESSES “Bewitching Grace”
LAGERSTRAEMIA “Eloquence”
This is sometimes called Crape Myrtle, but never by floriographers.
LANTANA “Rigor”
You might guess from the meaning that this is another plant with thorns.
LAPAGERIA ROSAEA “There is No Unalloyed Good”
LARCH “Boldness”
This is one of our faster-growing trees.
*LARCH, ONE SPRIG “How Dare You?”
LARKSPUR “Levity, Lightness”*
Lesley Gordon says this is because larks fly so high. Do they fly so high because they’re light? Or is it that birds are kind of flighty?
LARKSPUR, DOUBLE-FLOWERED “Haughtiness”
Another reference to height: once upon a time, if you were haughty, you were said to have a rather high manner, much in the way that if you were guilty of levity, you were said to be light in your manners, or likely to take things lightly.
LARKSPUR, PINK “Fickleness”
This was also known as the Purple Larkspur. Of course.
LARKSPUR, SINGLE-FLOWERED “Fickleness”
Pink or Purple, I guess.
LAUREL “Glory”*
A laurel wreath was the highest honor a Greek could aspire to, and all because of a mean joke of Cupid’s. Apollo made a nasty crack about the lad’s marksmanship, and Cupid by way of revenge, shot him with an arrow that made him fall in love with Daphne. Cupid had already shot Daphne with one of his special lead-tipped arrows, which made the target automatically loathe members of the opposite sex. The chase was on; it ended only when Daphne prayed to be turned into a plant. She became a laurel. Apollo broke off a branch to wear on his head, and declared that a wreath of such branches would be the superlative honor.
And so Laurel became a symbol of glory and victory. Whose victory? Cupid’s, perhaps.
LAUREL, ALMOND “Perfidy”
If you should want to look them up for yourself, the horse’s mouth where a lot of these myths of people turning into plants are concerned is Ovidius Naso, or Ovid, one of those classical writers children aren’t allowed to read much. He didn’t make them up, but he gathered them and polished them for his book “Metamorphoses”. He seems to have felt they were kind of funny.
Ovid weas like that, but he had the fortune or misfortune to live during the reign of Caesar Augustus, one of the more straitlaced Caesars, who finally exiled him for his naughty books. The writings of Caesar Augustus do not get the interest from illustrators that Ovid’s work does.
*LAUREL, AMERICAN “Virtue Makes Her Charming” No one but Sarah Josepha Hale bothers with this, which some books say is the Kalmia. But see LAUREL, MOUNTAIN
LAUREL, COMMON “Perfidy”
LAUREL, GROUND “Perseverance”
*LAUREL LEAF, CUT “I Lack the Ability”
LAUREL, MOUNTAIN “Ambition”
One expert told me this is a Rhododendron. Two more make it Kalmia, but a fourth said it must never, ever be confused with Kalmia. If those kids can’t get together without fighting, I’m going to make them sit in separate books.
*LAUREL SEED “I Love the Brunette”
Laurel, Spurge: see MEZEREON
LAURUSTINUS: “I Die If Neglected”
The Laurustinus will resist the ravages of hot or cold weather, but will wither if neglected by the gardener. I know people like that.
LAVENDER “Distrust”
Distrust Lavender? Henry Phillips says this is because it is used to disguise bad odors. Sheila Pickles claims snakes love to lie under it. Many experts stress Cleopatra’s asp, which rested in lavender until its slide to glory.
LAVENDER, COTTON “You Talk Too Much”
They tell me this plant has nothing to do with cotton OR lavender. Ain’t botany fun? The problem comes, as noted in the introduction, of people giving flowers and plants just any name they liked, without considering things scientifically. From time to time, there have been moves to get all names except the scientific ones abolished. R. Milton Carleton sighs that folk names will go on as long as people who are not scientists grow plants. R.C.A. Prior would allow people to use the folk names only if they don’t speak Greek or Latin. I can put up with names like Cotton Lavender if it’s a matter of those smartypantses against the rest of us. (I never got along with the metric system, either.)
LAVENDER, SEA “Dauntlessness”
LEADWORT “Holy Wishes”
A book I suspect of swiping its data gives us “Holy, Vicious” for this plant. I picture the typesetter’s assistant as a fellow with a German accent, reading out of the original book “Next comes Holy Vishes”. There could be some other explanation.
LEAVES, DEAD “Sadness, Melancholy”*
*LEAVES, GREEN “Revived Hope”
Presumably because when you see the leaves turning green again in spring, you feel better about things in general. But how do you explain to the recipient not to use the meaning of whatever plant the leaves come from?
*LEAVES, SKELETON “Beautiful in Death”
A nature craft enjoyed by Victorians which most of us have given up, being busy watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory, is the making of skeleton leaves. Which are leaves with all the green bits gone, leaving just a lacework of the dried veins. It was very pretty. But when, exactly, do you give someone a gift meaning “Beautiful in Death”?
LEEK “Liveliness”
Leek, House: see HOUSELEEK
LEMON “Zest”
Who started the custom of calling lemon peel the “zest” of the lemon? And can’t we do something about it?
LEMON BLOSSOM
American floriographers, though not unanimous, tend toward “Discretion”, a meaning first proposed by Elizabeth W. Wirt. The English floriographers, however, follow the suggestion of A Lover of Flowers and make it “Fidelity in Love”. Shall we worry about how many lovers are presumed faithful, but are merely discreet?
LESCHENAULTIA SPLENDENS “”You Are Charming”
LETTUCE “Coldhearted”
Obviously Iceberg Lettuce/
LICHEN ”Solitude”
Licorice, Wild: see BELVIDERE
LILAC “First Emotions of Love”*
Catherine Waterman says this is because of the delicacy of the plant, which imitates the delicacy of a young person jut learning about love, and the color, which is supposed to remind you of blushes. Richard Folkard, Jr. makes it “First Troubles of Love”, which tells us what he thought about it.
LILAC, FIELD ‘Humility”
LILAC, MAUVE “Do You Still Love Me?”
Lilac, Purple: see LILAC
LILAC, WHITE “Youthful Innocence”
Mme. De Latour had simply “Youth”, but Sarah Josepha Hale amended this, and the new version became more popular than the original.
LILY “Purity and….”
Everyone give the Lily “Purity” because it’s so white. But no one can leave it at that, partly because of the plant’s tall, majestic bearing. So floriographers list “Purity and Majesty”, “Purity and Stateliness”, “Purity and Modesty” (originally a misprint for Majesty?), “Purity, Chastity, and Innocence” (and redundance?), “Purity and Lofty Aspiration”, “Purity and Grandeur”, “Purity, Dignity, and Nobility”, “Beauty and Purity”, and “Purity and Moral Excellence”. Pick out one you like.
Lily, Atamasco: see AMARYLLIS
Lily, Belladonna: see AMARYLLIS
*LILY, CHINESE “You May Hope”
LILY, DAY “Coquetry”
Henry Phillips, who appears to be the floriographer who added the Day Lily, or Daylily, to flower language, explains this meaning with the fact that the Day Lily is a tease, seldom flowering two days in a row. Three floriographers made it clear that this applies only to YELLOW Day Lilies.
*LILY, FROG “Disgust”
LILY, IMPERIAL “Majesty”
LILY, JAPANESE “You Can’t Deceive Me”
*LILY, JUNE “Purity”
LILY, ORANGE “Hatred”
The Lehners were the first to mention this, as far as I can see. I don’t know what they had in mind, especially, but the orange lily is the symbol of the Orangemen, or Irish Protestants, as the Shamrock is the symbol of the Irish Catholics.
Lily, Pond: see WATER LILY
*LILY, REGAL “Majesty”
*LILY, SCARLET “High-Souled”
Only Sarah Josepha hale mentions this, and even she doesn’t put it in every edition of her dictionary.
LILY, TIGER “Wealth and Pride”
Lily, Torch see FLAME FLOWER
LILY, TURK’S CAP “Splendor”
LILY, WATER “Purity”
Geoffrey Grigson says this is another seed the Elizabethans ate to ensure chastity. I’ve read about the Elizabethans. It didn’t work.
This meaning also appears in a strange little item called Oracles des Flores, published in 1816 and written by an author listed as “C.F.P. del….” It’s a pretty little fortune-telling book, which has some flower meanings also found in Mme. De Latour’s book. This could be a coincidence. Or Mme. De Latour’s book came out earlier than experts have guessed, and was used as a source. OR maybe Oracles des Flores was written by Charlotte F.P. delatour. Printers have done stranger things.
LILY, WHITE “Purity, Sweetness”
*LILY, WILD “Purity”
LILY, YELLOW “Falsity, Gaiety”
It seems that Sarah Josepha Hale made this mean “Playful Gayety” shortly after Elizabeth W. Wort’s book made it “Falsehood”. A lot of subsequent floriographers, unable to decide which to steal, made up their minds to list both. Well, all the world loves a cheerful liar.
LILY OF THE VALLEY “Return of Happiness”*
Because it is one of the first flowers of spring, of course.
*LILY OF THE VALLEY, BLUE “Amorous Young Girl”
LIME “Conjugal Love”*
This is not the citrus tree, but another name for the European Linden Tree, though some books give this meaning to the American Linden as well. Floriographers prefer to list it under Lime, just to confuse us.
In any case, the meaning comes from the story of Baucis and Philemon, an elderly Greek couple who set out a big meal for unexpected guests, though they had to go hungry themselves to do it. The visitors were gods in disguise, and offered the pair a wish. Thinking it over, they asked only that they be allowed to die at exactly the same time, so that one would not have to live without the other. The wish was granted. After they died, an oak grew out of the grave of Philemon, which is why the Oak stands for “Hospitality” in floriography, while a linden (or lime) grew from the grave of Baucis. The trees grew together, showing conjugal love even after death.
Baucis was the wife, by the way. Catherine Waterman says that the linden tree has all the qualities of a perfect wife: graceful, gentle, simple. She wrote this in 1840.
I know you had your hopes, but there are a LOT of postcards sitting around in the files. If people would get busy and BUY them, we could be chatting again about Turkey Liver Pizza. But though we nearly covered our “behinds” in the last column, there are other running gags in the world of postcard posteriors (And there were actually a couple of cards using the word “behind” which did not appear last time around. But we must put this behind…what? Oh, very well.)
I did think “mooning” people had been left behind in the twentieth century until the big mass mooning held at a building not far from where I am writing these words. Certainly, the use of “moon” as a synonym for the human situpon was not neglected by previous generations. The couple above has their minds on higher things.
But this chap from the 1940s is clearly thinking of the old saying that “Man wants but little here below.”
The joke was popular enough to be repeated by another cartoonist in the 1950s.
And by another in the 1960s.
The whole point of this sort of joke, as it was in the gags about behinds, was that the word used could have a perfectly innocent use in the sentence, though the picture elucidates matters. A previous generation, sending cards in or around 1915, enjoyed this bit of wordplay. (Those are his sister’s underdrawers, if that is not obvious. If you compare their size to his size, you see he is living very dangerously, as his sister could probably throw him over the house if she catches him.)
In case you thought a previous generation was too pure, too honest to swipe other people’s gags, you must have skipped a few lectures on the history of comedy.
It seems to have been the rule to make the child involved as obnoxious as popular. This version, you’ll note, is for people who don’t have “sitting rooms”, a term that was by no means universal.
Though it was understandable enough to go on being used in the 1950s.
I would be remiss, of course, if I did not make mention of this joke, popular wherever sex and drinking were on people’s minds.
So, um, just about everywhere. Especially at the beach.
As always, a cartoonist could use one traditional joke to slip in another old favorite.
Or even two. This may seem to be too much, but we’ve always been willing to rise to the occasion.
Well, Thanksgiving is past and we must now face the reality that Christmas is upon us. I have, myself, always stated that I DO love Christmas: I’m just not very good at it. So many things which used to be so simple have become difficult with the passage of time. For example, at my age, it is harder and harder to get on Santa’s naughty List. So with a view to correcting that situation, I thought we would return to the subject of postcards dealing with butt jokes.
There are, according to some slang dictionaries, more words for referring to the seating arrangement of the human anatomy than any other part of the body. Among your postcard cartoonists, none was more versatile than “behind”. They could use this in a perfectly innocent sentence and then draw the illustration to leave you in no doubt about which meaning they wanted you to see. The card at the top of this column shows how this was done. The man is merely saying that his girl is behind him in the picture, and nothing else.
We dedicated an entire column to this running gag.
Any use of the word could prompt a picture. I don’t know that the cartoonist really did his best with this one. He could at least have had the behind on the left.
Of course, the most common use of the joke was to excuse oneself for not having written. People would, in theory, be chortling so much at getting the double meaning that you could toss in another old joke as well.
And in case those postcards from the 1940s and 1950s make you think we eventually grew out of that joke, these two from a later era show we never left the joke behind.
A vacation scene would add to your explanation about why you hadn’t written. It is, we are told, so easy to get behind at the beach.
Vacations, of course, were for leaving things behind, as noted here.
The joke could also express regret at the vacation’s end.
And the resumption of the cares of daily life, with bills to pay. (His pants are torn, see, or rent, so he…oh, you got that one.)
Or the rigors of watching your weight.
Or just the daily grind, as seen with this sorry tail.
This is a plant which looks as if it has frost or ice on it, hence its name and meaning. Most books agree on this meaning, but Mme. De Latour had it with a slight difference. Both editions of her book which I have seen give the meaning as “Your Fires Freeze Me”, the sort of thing you might say to a suitor whose passion you find annoying. Now, M. Louis Aime-Martin, whose Belgian edition claims that he is Mme. De Latour, has changed one letter, from “feux” to “yeux”, which makes it “Your Eyes Freeze Me”, basically the same meaning as the above. Maybe Mme. De Latour’s printers goofed it up, or maybe she meant it as printed and the other floriographers just couldn’t figure it out.
IMBRICATA “Uprightness”
IMMORTELLE “Never-ceasing Remembrance”
This, as you probably guessed, is a kind of Everlasting.
Impatiens: see BALSAM
IMPERIAL MONTAGUE “Power”
Ipomoea: see JASMINE, INDIAN
IRIS “A Message”*
Iris and Hermes were the messengers of the Greek gods. Unlike Hermes, who had lots of things to do besides, Iris seems to have done absolutely nothing but dash up and down the rainbow, carrying messages hither and yon.
A popular minority meaning for any iris is “Flame” or “Fire”, because the shape of the plant reminded viewers of flames.
IRIS, BLUE “A Message”
IRIS, GERMAN “Flame”*
*IRIS, JAPANESE “Beyond Criticism”
Iris, Yellow: see FLEUR-DE-LIS
IVY “Fidelity”
*IVY, JAPANESE “Binding”
This is an ampelopsis, made famous by Dorothy L. Sayers, who, in her short story “The Unprincipled Affair of the Practical Joker”, has Lord Peter Wimsey describe an oily character as “Bit of an ampelopsis, what…suburban plant that climbs by suction. YOU know—first year, tender little shoots—second year, fine show—next year, all over the shop.”
*IVY LEAVES “I Offer You My Friendship”
*IVY, POISON “Annoyance, Envy”
Go ahead: give your beloved a bouquet of this and see who gets annoyed. No one will envy you.
*IVY, WITH APOCYNUM, “Your Friend is Deceitful”
*IVY, WITH JONQUILS “Return to Fidelity”
IVY, WITH TENDRILS “Assiduous to Please”
Late into the research for this book, my life was enriched by the discovery of an item called Embleme des Fleurs, ou Parterre de Flore, published in Paris in 1833 and written by one “Ch.-Jos. CH….T. Ch.-Jos. turns out to have been Charles-Joseph Chambet, author of a number of ephemeral books, the most popular of which seems to have been his guide book to Lyons.
The 1833 edition was the fourth; in it he points out that the first edition was published in 1816, “two or three years” before the work of his “aimable imitatrice”, Charlotte de Latour. So far, I have been unable to substantiate this claim; the earliest edition I was able to trace is the second, which came out in 1824, cited by Henry Phillips in his own work of 1825. Chambet says he doesn’t wish to detract from the obvious talent of his imitator (they always say that) but just wants it known that he was there first.
His book has definitions in common with Mme. De Latour, but even more in common with Louis-Aime Martin. Like Louis-Aime Martin’s book, Chambet’s does not seem to have had anywhere near the influence of Mme. de Latour’s, though it was apparently dipped into by Dorothea Dix, Emmeline Raymond, and Josephine Addison.
J
Jack-in-the-Pulpit: see ARUM
JACOB’S LADDER “Come Down”
As Jacob’s dream showed him angels moving up and down the ladder, does this mean the giver considers you an angel?
*JAPANESE GOLDEN PLUME “Distinction”
JASMINE “Amiability”
Some books say Jasmine and some say Jessamine. One authority informed me that Jessamine is properly used for the American plant, while Jasmine is the Asian version. But another expert claims jessamine is merely a poetic way of saying Jasmine. There are even a few floriographers who spell it Jasmin. Surely there’s an amiable way out of this argument.
Jasmine, Cape: see GARDENIA
JASMINE, CAROLINA “Separation”*
Some of the earlier floriographers make this Virginian Jasmine. North American geography was not a high priority in those days.
JASMINE, INDIAN “I Attach Myself to You”
JASMINE, NIGHT-BLOOMING “Only for Thee” or “Love’s Vigil”
Either way, you are claiming you would do this only for the one you love, the way only someone who really loves a flower would stay up all night to watch if it bloomed. A good flower to give someone who has asked you to take out the trash.
JASMINE, RED “Our Love Will Lead Us Astray”
Jasmine, Scarlet: see JASMINE, INDIAN
JASMINE, SPANISH “Sensuality”
The most important quality of jasmine, to gardeners of the day, was its scent, which is powerful and alluring if you can take it, and sickeningly thick if you can’t. Most of these meanings, obviously, were chosen by people with a strong tolerance for the stuff.
Jasmine, Virginian: see JASMINE, CAROLINA
JASMINE, WHITE “Amiability”
However, Laura Peroni says that in Spain this plant means “Sensuality”. Note JASMINE, SPANISH, above.
JASMINE, YELLOW “Grace and Elegance”
Ernst and Joanna Lehner claim the original Turkish flower language (Selam) had a special code for Jasmine. Red meant “Our Love Will Be Intoxicating”, White meant “Our Love Will be Sweet”, and Yellow meant “Our Love Will Be Passionate”. You can see how some of that might have evolved into what the floriographers gave us.
Jessamine: see JASMINE
JOB’S TEARS “Sympathetic”
JONQUIL “I Desire a Return of Affection”
Several floriographers make this simply “Desire”, following Mme. De Latour. Clair Powell says the Turks made it mean “Lust”. Well, “I Desire a Return of Affection” is NEARLY the same thing, isn’t it?
*JOSEPH’S COAT “Affectation”
*JOY “Enduring Friendship”
Someone has suggested that this is just another name for Wood Sorrel, which is sometimes called Gye. I’m thinking that over.
JUDAS TREE “Disbelief”
JUJUBE TREE “Concord”
This is sometimes known as the Buckthorn, or Purging Buckthorn. Both a high-powered laxative and a very popular candy have been made of it. Go figure.
*JUJUBE SEED “I Love the Brunette”
JULIENNE, WHITE “Despair Not”
There is a story about an exiled queen who looked at this plant whenever she needed encouragement. It reminded her that God was everywhere, so she should not give up. Some people feel this is the same plant as Queen’s Rocket, but I say if she’d had a rocket….
JUNIPER “Protection”
This plant was thought to protect you from devils, and was also used as a cure for plague and poison. The belief in its ability to protect probably comes from the Bible, since Elijah sat under one for shelter. That is, he does in the King James Bible. In the Revised Standard
Version, he sits under a Broom Tree. The floriographers were working without benefit of the Revised Standard Version.
Less Biblically-inclined floriographers have other explanations. Robert Tyas says that simple-minded natives burn it to keep evil spirits away. He doesn’t say simple-minded natives of where, and, anyhow, maybe they were just smoking out mosquitoes. And Clair Powell says rabbits, thrushes, and insects always hurry to the juniper for shelter. The juniper berries had nothing to do with it, I guess.
JUSTICIA “The Perfection of Female Loveliness”
K
*KALMIA “Treachery”
This is a kind of laurel, but definitely not the kind from which wreaths are made. Our Ancestors’ estimate of it can be judged by the fact that they called it Lambskill, or Calfkill. (Depending on whether they were in sheep or cattle country.)
KENNEDIA “Mental Beauty”
*KENTIA “Sincerity”
KING-CUP “I Wish I Was Rich”
This name has been applied to any cup-shaped yellow flower: a buttercup or cowslip or marsh marigold. It’s a pretty obvious symbol: somebody was looking out across a field of these yellow cups and sighed, “Golly, I wish those were real gold cups.” And some older person was
listening then recited the tale of King Midas, and the younger person would sagely nod, having learned the larger lesson: never wish for anything where Aunt Booney can hear you.
Now, this is not, not, not, not a food blog, as I have mentioned before. However, we are rolling at the greatest food holiday of our year (about the only one which is about the entree and not the dessert, or the snack) and I thought I would record my turkey cooking experiences. This is less to enlighten YOU, creamed cod sauce, than it is a request by my loving relatives that I set this down in black and white so I can stop telling THEM about it. (This is also the season for wishing for things you ain’t gonna get, but we will move on.)
In my heyday, which was one or two decades ago, Daylight Savings Time, I would eke out my miserable salary by buying a fresh turkey at my local grocery store every other week. (Nowadays, they supply fresh turkeys for three days before and two days after Thanksgiving and Christmas.) This was an investment of about twenty-five bucks, and from that investment, I would derive fifteen to twenty meals.
Sunday after buying this turkey I would rise in the morning and set a disposable aluminum pan on the bottom of a broiling pan, in case of leakage. After wrestling the turkey out of its mesh net and plastic bag, I removed the bag of giblets. I would open that, remove the liver, and wrap that separately for the freezer (to await the next time I yearned after Turkey Liver Pizza.) Then I would wrap the rest of the giblets in foil and toss that into the pan where it could support the drumsticks. The turkey itself would then be stuffed with, well, two quarters of an onion (one in the central cavity and one under the skin at the other end) or some peeled cloves of garlic in the same two places. This would then be placed in the pan, breast down because my mother cooked chickens that way. I put foil over the bird, crimped this along the edge of the pan to keep the steam inside, and shoved the whole assembly into the oven.
I always bought the improved turkeys with a label telling how long to cook per pound. I would add half an hour or thereabouts to this time. Once that time was up–no nonsense in this meal about basting, removing the foil to brown the skin, or preparing a roux for gravy—I would take up the broiler pan and carefully set this heavy, hot contraption on the front of the stove.
Two plates and a bowl or two had been set up on the counter as my receiving station. Dodging steam, I set the top foil aside, saving the bits of crisp skin which had stuck to it despite my trying to form a tent over the bird. With a couple of forks, I could easily remove the two legs (the result of that extra half hour: things come loose without the use of a cleaver) and set them, one at a time, on large pieces of foil on a receiving plate. The foil was folded and each leg tucked away in the defidgidator: that was two dinners to come.
The wings went on the other plate: once they cooled a bit, I would start eating those (have to keep your strength up during this process.) If I felt brave, I would then move the bowls into position, and carefully pour off the liquid in the pan (let the turkey slide to the corner you’re pouring from BEFORE pouring; it prevents splashy surprises). Depending on how the seal of the foil worked, there might be two to four bowls of this liquid, which could then be set into the fridge to cool and separate. Once upon a time, the result was about eighty percent turkey gelatin and twenty percent fat. Turkey growers have changed their ways, and over the last ten years, it has been more ninety-five percent gelatin and five percent fat. The fat can be pulled off this for use as cooking fat while the gelatin will make anywhere from two to six bowls of turkey noodle soup. (Another recipe we won’t stop for today.)
Now pan and turkey are light and safe enough for more heavy duty work. Remember the receiving plate that did not have wings on it? Get out more foil and remove as much of the white meat as you can. One breast and other smidgets of meat can be wrapped in foil and put in the freezer while the other is similarly wrapped and set next to the legs. THIS is going to provide turkey sandwiches for lunch for the next two to three weeks (depending on the size of the bird and how greedy you are when making lunch.)
Now I would eat the wings (unless I had done so already) and the tail, which at some point had also been placed on the receiving plate. This would be followed by what was in the foil container of giblets as well as any meat which adhered to the remaining bones, or fell off into the pan while you were working, oh, and that crispy bit stuck to the foil, and….
And then I would take a nap, filled with the turkey’s sleep chemicals and secure in the knowledge that I would not have to decide what was for lunch or dinner (dinner or supper for those of you from my hometown) for a couple of weeks. AND there was cooking fat to make popcorn in the frying pan.
In this way, I celebrated Bachelor Thanksgiving about twenty times a year. I don’t suppose any of this will be useful to you tomorrow, but at the very least I wish you as hearty a nap as came with my old recipe.
Blogsy Babbles 