Dear Santa Blogs:
I have a niece who sends me entertaining emails and who really deserves to get a present this year in exchange for all the gloomy Goth humor she sends my way. But I’ve never shopped for a Goth before and, anyway, I don’t have any idea what kids want for Christmas these days. Can you help me through my predicament?
LOST IN THE SENTIMENTS
Dear Lost Sense:
How wise of you to have consulted a neutral authority! Of course, there are plenty of gift guides out there, but the majority sponsored by some commercial enterprise or another, and lack considerations of things like cost and convenience. For example, the possibility of assembling twelve drummers to drum in one place at one time is limited by how much trouble you’re prepared to put up with (not least from your niece’s parents.)
So it is best to look at these guides for suggestions, but not consider them too literally. (But don’t outsmart yourself: one of the lost souls on my list did immeasurable damage to his matrimonial prospects by sending his true love eleven plumbers plumbing. Not a pretty story…no matter how many rentals the video got.)
It may be best, in fact, to settle for a simple present. We must understand that not every gift recipient is going to find something this year which makes them jump for joy.
Tickets to a concert on New Year’s Eve, for example, may be exciting, but involving, as they would, changes to a schedule for that holiday, plus transportation expenses and the possibility of having to be accompanied by a spoilsport parent who will reach down and cover the listener’s ears at certain points in the performance, embarrassing her forever at what was supposed to be a glorious and parent-gobsmacking…where were we? Anyway, if you don’t know what she likes, you probably aren’t up to date on her musical tastes either, and would probably send her to hear some death metal group she considers dead and gone.
Sending food has similar dangers. Is the recipient lactose intolerant? Allergic to nuts? Someone with a deep internal loathing of fruitcake? Perils abound.
And for goodness sake (my specialty) don’t send pets without a lot of preliminary research. Sending an Old English Sheepdog to someone in a tiny studio apartment may make sense for January, but would become unbearable in July.
The response of many people to your quandary is to spend more money, feeling that to goose the price will cover up any ignorance.
But it honestly is the thought which matters more, even if that thought was only “I wanted to get you something nice but had no idea.” If your recipient is in the right holiday spirit, she will attend to the first part of that thought and forgive the second.
You could go back through all those emails she sent you during the year and hunt for clues. I will assume that you have already done this AND that you are running a little late for doing a lot more research.
I am also considering the possibility that you have considered just sending a prepaid gift card or plain cash in an envelope. Many people are shy of this kind of gift, fearing that no matter how much they send, it will strike the lucky recipient as chickenfeed.
One of our problems nowadays is that we simply expect too much. Remember that your niece is getting other presents, that it would be piggy to insist that YOUR present be the biggest part of her day. Resign yourself to the possibility that she will be unimpressed and/or critical of your gift.
Just do your best and be prepared for a “Better luck next year” response. Anything too big wouldn’t make it to her through the mails in time at this point anyhow. That’s the best I can do as a neutral advisor not trying to sell you something. (Except to point out that vintage postcards are cute, cover a lot of ground, and can be sent in an envelope with first class mail and be pretty much guaranteed to arrive by Christmas. This neutral advice has been brought to you by….)
Blogsy Babbles 