Stug’s eyes went all round, and nearly rolled down his pale cheeks at the sight of Creston putting the big jeweled hat on. It just sat on top of Creston’s head, being the type of crown that wasn’t designed to come down over the ears.
“Hmmmm,” said Creston, “I guess I’ll have to pin it on when I’m King.”
Stuf was mad enough to spit. All the time the king was so sick, Stug had ruled the country. In fact, he thought he could have gone on ruling it, without any king. But if anyone deserved to be king, with crown and robes and orb and sword and all the other regalia, he felt he was that one. And here stood this kid out of the country who thought he could be king just by picking up the crown, simply because the old king had said anyone could be king by picking up the crown.
There had to be some way to get the young man out from under that hat. So Stug bowed and said, “What wonderful news, sir!”
Creston frowned. “Shouldn’t you have said, ‘What wonderful news, Your Majesty’?”
“Oh, in good time, sir, in good time.” The prime minister bowed again. “But there are, er, four traditional tests you must pass to show you are worthy to be our king.”
“I would’ve thought picking up the crown proved that,” said Creston.
“It does, sir, it does,” said Stug, taking Creston by one arm and leading him out into the palace. Of course, it does. But there are these little traditions involved in becoming a monarch, you see: part of the fussy business of royalty. I don’t know why anybody would want the job, myself. I hope you pass the tests, sir. Otherwise I’ll have to be king myself, and I simply don’t have the time.”
“It would be very difficult to be two important people at once,” said Creston. “What’s the first test?”
“Oh, um, the tests are of earth, air, water, and fire,” Stug told him. “But it is, er, late, and I need to look up the books and forms for the proper order of the tests.”
“Somebody should have done that by now,” said Creston, “When I am….”
“And it is late, sir,” the Prime Minister went on. “And first we should really celebrate your victory over those demons. How did you manage to get past them, sir?”
Creston shrugged. “Oh, I just asked if they’d go somewhere else for a bit, and they did.”
The prime minister’s eyes went wide, and then went narrow. He wasn’t quite sure he believed this story. But since he hadn’t thought of asking the demons to leave, he couldn’t be sure that wouldn’t work. So he just led Creston to a great banquet hall, where many of the kingdom’s nobles ate, some with burned fingers, and waited to find out what would become of their country.
“Rejoice!” Stug shouted, entering with Creston. “This young man has defeated the demons and picked up the crown! Once he has passed the four great tests, he will be king!”
There was a great deal of applause from those people who didn’t particularly care who was king as long as those demons were out of the castle. A few who had wanted to be king themselves grumbled. (Those with burned fingers couldn’t have applauded much in any case.) A young duke near the door scratched his head and asked, “What four great tests?” But Stug kicked the young duke in the ankle and called for the servants to bring extra food and drink for a celebration.
Though Creston was hungry, he had some diffficulty eating, with so many people coming over to shake his hand. He supposed he could get used to that, and it was certainly nothing to be afraid of. He had a good time.
After the banquet, Stug himself escorted Creston to the royal bedroom for a good night’s sleep. “I have had time to check the books, sir,” the Prime Minister said. “The first test is to lock you in the highest tower in the palace and see whether you can get down again without using the stairs. I’ll take you there first thing in the morning.”
“Why, I’m much obliged to you,” said Creston. “Thank you.”
“It is my duty and my pleasure, sir,” said Stug, smiling. “I hope you are not afraid of heights, sir?”
“I never have been before,” said Creston. “Burt perhaps you have higher heights in the city. We shall see.”
“Yes,” said Stug. And, not smiling now, he left the bedroom, his mind turning over ways to make tests as difficult as he could.
The royal bedroom was not what Creston was used to, being rather large and bright with glowing jewels and shiny ornaments. But eh supposed je could sleep anywhere. Hanging his clothes, and the bagful of demons, on a bedpost, he climbed under the rich blankets.
“Four tests aren’t bad,” he told himself, “As long as none of them involve the one thing I’m afraid of. That would be an unpleasant way to find out what it is.”
He had just set his head on the pillows when he heard a gurgling sound. Looking over at his clothes, he saw a flicker of red from the magic bag. A head with flared nostrils popped out of the opening.
Creston did not think this was worth getting up for. “Don’t you dare come out of that bag without my permission.”
“No, Master,” said the demon. “Sorry, Master. Just checking, Master, to make sure you hadn’t died or something.”
“Now how should a demon care what becomes of me?”
“Why, the Chief, he gets into a real snit if one of us has some tiny little accident like getting put in a bag,” said the demon, laughing a little. “Perfectly understandable thing, of course, but it upsets him no end. So it would be a pity if anything happened to you before we got to do it.”
Creston could not immediately see why one of these would be more of a pity than the other. “A pity for whom?”
“Us, of course.” The demon showed long slick teeth. “He won’t be nearly so mifty about it if we bring you back with us, all torn to shreds.”
Creston yawned. All the walking and waiting and talking of the day had left him extremely tired. “Well, you can relax. I think I am more likely to be king than dead soon. I need only pass four tests.”
“Tests?” said the demon. “What kind of tests?”
“I’m not sure about them all yet,” said Creston, yawning again. “But first thing in the morning I have to get down from a high tower without using the stairs.”
“Whose idea was that?”
“It’s traditional,” said Creston. “The man who told me about it is named Stug, I think. I wasn’t introduced to too many people tonight for me to remember all the names.”
“Stug,” murmured the demon. “Stug. I think I’ve seen him. Tall fellow? Blue hair? Kind of a nasty look in one eye?”
“Maybe” said Creston. “Which eye?”
The demon shook his head. “I think he may try to trick you, Master, so that he can be king himself. You’d do well to call on me for help when you find yourself in that tower.”
“I suppose a demon would think a demon’s help would be useful,” said Creston. “I wouldn’t know. But if I can’t think of anything myself tomorrow, I’ll give you a call. What’s your name?”
The demon’s nose twitched. Creston could barely hear him answer, “Puppy.”
Creston didn’t laugh. It wasn’t that he was afraid to laugh; he was just too polite. “Very well, Puppy. I’ll call you tomorrow if I need you. Now get back into that bag and let me sleep.”
And the demon did, for as is well known, demons have very little power over people who are not afraid of them.
Stug knocked on the royal door very early the next morning. “So sorry, sir,” he said, “I thought you might like to take care of these little tests right away, so as to have the rest of the day free to be king.”
“That sounds good,” said Creston, getting dressed. “The first test is at the top of the tower, isn’t it? What’s the weather like today?”
“A little chilly, sir,” the Prime Minister replied. “You might wish to wear your cloak. If you didn’t bring one, I will happily lend you mine.” A cloak was a small price to pay for getting rid of a tiresome country boy.
Stug conducted Creston all the way through the palace and up a long winding staircase to a high tower. Over the edge of the low wall, Creston could see most of the city and quite a lot of forest beyond it. The view might have frightened some people, but Creston said, “My! Am I going to be king of all that?”
“That and more, sir,” said Stug. “If you get down, of course. So that you don’t forget and accidentally use the stairs, sir, I’ll just nail this door shut.” The Prime Minsiter stepped backward to the stairs and slammed the door. Creston heard hammering.
The wind swept across the tower. Creston, walking back to the wall for another look, was nearly knocked off by a strong gust.
“That would be one way to get down,” he said to himself. “But I can’t say I’d get much pleasure out of it. I wonder how the stone in the floor got so very greasy.”
He thought about it, wrapping the cloak the Prime Minister had given him a little tighter. “Surely that Mr. Stug is too polite, and too important besides, to be greasing stones. But I surely can’t climb down the tower, with this grease all over my boots. Like as not I’d slip and find out that falling from the tallest tower in the land is the one thing I’m afraid of.”
Unslinging the bag from his waist, he opened it and called inside. “Puppy? Puppy? Here Puppy, Puppy!”
“That’s not funny,” said a steaming demon head, rising from the bag. “What do you want?”
“Come out here and help me, if you can,” said Creston.
The demon cheerfully jumped from the bag and looked around. “Well, you are in a pickle, Master. Aren’t you afraid I’ll just run off and leave you here?”
“Nope,” said Creston.
“What will you do about the tower, if I go?” asked the demon, rather annoyed.
Creston shrugged. “If you lied about helping me, maybe you lied about me needing any help.”
“Oh, very well,” sighed the demon. “Let me have your cloak.”
“It’s Stug’s cloak,” Creston said, taking it off.
“So much the better,” Puppy replied. “Hold the four corners, just like this. That’s fine, Master. Hold it right there.”
Puppy crouched and breathed steam up into the cloak. “Wait!” said Creston, hanging on, “I’m supposed to go down, not up!”
“Well, of course, Master,” said the demon, hopping onto his shoulders. “But we have to get off this tower first.”
The steam inside the cloak lifted it like a balloon. Creston, with the demon on his shoulders, drifted with the wind, over the castle and over the city. As the wind blew the cloak away, it also cooled the steam inside, so Creston and Puppy eventually came down in some trees north of the city.
“What fun!” Creston had enjoyed the ride and the view very much. “You did a fine job, Puppy. You can go home now.”
“Just like that?” said the demon. “You’re letting me go free?”
“You did me a good turn,” Creston said, shaking some leaves from the cloak and then putting it back on. “Go where you will.”
Puppy jumped up into the sky. “Very well, Master,”” he said. “Until we meet again.” With a nasty wink, the demon disappeared. Creston supposed that wink meant the demon would come back at some future time to do him an ill turn. But he had other things to think about.
A big head had poked itself out of the bag at his waist. “Brother Puppy’s been gone a long time,” said this demon. “Where is he?”
“I sent him home,” Creston replied. “He did me a good turn.”
The demon’s face twisted up at Creston. “Um, Master, if I did you a favor would you let me go, too? This bag has rocks in it, and I hate sleeping on rocks.”
Creston heard coach wheels rumbling furiously along the road. “It could happen. Do you know much about tests of earth, fire, and water?”
“Master,” said the demon, blowing a little flame from his nose, “I know everything. Ask me anything!”
“I will, then.” Creston thought the coach wheels sounded closer. “What’s your name?”
The big round cheeks blushed. “Well, it’s Bunny.”
“Very well, Bunny,” said Creston. “I will call you if I need you. Now, hide your head.”
The Prime Minister was whipping the coach horses to greater speed. He pulled hard on the reins when he saw Creston at the side of the road.
“So!” he cried. He seemed to have trouble breathing for a moment.
Then he jumped from the coach. “How happy I am to see you, sir! You’re ready for the trial of fire, I suppose? The place isn’t far from here. Not afraid of fire, are you, sir?”
“I never have been,” said Creston. “But maybe you have hotter fires in the city.”
“We shall see,” said Stug, leading him to the coach “We shall see.”
He drove Creston to a big field of hay with a tree at the center. Using a bit of rope, he tied Creston to this tree, and said, “Wait here, sir.”
“Wait here,” Creston repeated. “Is that all there is to this test?”
“You’ll find it’s enough.” The Prime Minister jumped into his coach and drove back the way he’d come.
“He didn’t mention how long I should wait,” Creston thought. It did not take very long, though. Soon he saw a pillar of smoke rising from where Stug had driven. He smelled the smoke, too.
Being a strong young man, it did not take him long to free himself from the rope tying him to the tree. Now, though, as he looked around, he saw smoke on every side.
“I wonder what one does about this sort of thing,” he thought. Flames were now showing under the smoke around the burning field. “Well, if anyone should know, it’s a demon.” He opened the bag and called, “Oh, Bunny!”
That big head popped up at once. “What is it, Master?”
“Someone seems to have set this field on fire,” Creston told him, gesturing at all the smoke. “What should I do about it?”
“Burn, most likely,” Bunny replied, climbing out of the bag. “Perhaps I shall just run off and enjoy watching that from a distance.”
Creston shrugged. “You don’t mind?” demanded Bunny.
“Perhaps I can think of something,” Creston told him. “If you can’t.”
“Who says I can’t?” demanded the demon. “Did Puppy say that? Did he? You just watch this, Master.”
Binny squatted a little and began to shoot flames from his nose. Then he ran all around the tree, setting the hay alight all around them.
“If this is your idea of help,” said Creston, coughing from all the smoke, “I don’t believe I care for it.”
“Wait and watch, Master,” Bunny told him. Puffing up his cheeks, he blew on the flames, which rushed into te fields, burning everything in their path. Soon, they ran into the flames coming from the other direction and, finding there was nothing interesting left to burn there, went out together.
“Now what, Master?” asked Bunny, who had been hopping around and applauding all the smoke and flames.
“Why, I see now that you helped quite a bit,” said Creston, coughing and wiping soot from his face. “You may go.”
Bunny frowned. “I thought you were going to kick me in the head and throw me back into the bag.”
“No,” said Creston. “Didn’t I say you could go if you helped me?”
“Yes, but…oh, I shall never understand humas! Until we meet again then, Master!” Bunny hopped up the side of the tree, winked at Creston, and disappeared. No doubt, Creston thought, looking over the ruined field, this demon was planning to come back and do something wicked later. He shook his head.
“Master?”
“Is that you, Bunny? No, I see it is not.” Another head had poked its way out of the bag. “How do you do? How are the rocks?”
“Delicious,” said the demon. “Nut ow I’ve eaten them there’s nothing left for me to eat in here. May I go now?”
“If you help me with my next test.” Creston had realized that whether Stug was trying to hurt him or not, these tests were certainly not very healthy. “If I need help, I’ll call on you. What’s your name?”
The demon wrinkled its nose. “Kitty.”
“Ah!” said Creston. “And you’re a good eater, are you?”
“Master,” said the demon. “I can eat anything. And then I can spit it out and eat it again while it’s still crying for mercy.” Kitty eyed Creston’s leg with interest.
“Get back in the bag,” ordered Creston, not at all frightened by the demon’s long teeth. “When I want something eaten, I’ll let you know.”
The demon had just disappeared when Creston spotted a coach being driven very quickly through the smoking field. The Prime Minister pulled the horses up just a few feet from the tree, and stared at Creston, eyes and nostrils wide. Then he showed his teeth in a really wonderful smile. What fascinated Creston was the way the Prime Minister could smile and smile and still never look very happy.
“I am so glad to see you passed the test, sir!” Stug cried.
“I’m glad to hear that you’re glad to see that,” said Creston, climbing in next to him. “What’s the next test?”
Stug turned the coach around and whipped the horses to a run through the smouldering hay. “This is the test of earth, sir,” he said, as he drove into a graveyard. “I hope you are not afraid of graves, sir.”
“I haven’t been before,” said Creston, jumping down from the coach and walking over to look into a hole in the ground. “But perhaps your graves are deader in the city.”
Stuf smiled some more. “Jump in, then, sir.”
Creston shrugged and jumped into the deep hole. “Nope,” he called back up. “I can’t say I’m afraid of this one. Is that all there is to the test?”
Two men with shovels were standing next to Stug. “Not quite, sir,” said the Prime Minister, smiling so as to show even more teeth. “Just count to one hundred and then climb out.”
Stug turned to the two men. “Fill it in,” he said.
Holding his borrowed cloak over his head, Creston was able to keep most of the dirt out of his mouth and nose. But he was covered completely before he had counted to fifty-four, until he could see nothing and hear nothing. The last thing he thought he heard was the Prime Minister saying, “Let’s see you pass this test, country boy.”
Creston was not quite out of breath when he reached one hundred. He was able to put one hand on the bag at his waist and call “Here, Kitty, Kitty!”
Flickering light showed at the opening of the bag, and the demon looked out. “Not much room in here, Master,” it said. “How about if I go home now and come back later?”
Creston shrugged. “If you like.”
The demon stared. “Aren’t you afraid of being left buried here?”
“Well, now.” Creston shrugged again. “If you can get out, perhaps I can follow.”
“Ho ho ho,” said Kitty. “I can swim through earth, Master, but the only way for you to get out would be if I ate all the new dirt they’ve shoveled in.”
“Do that, then,” suggested Creston.
“I might as well,” the demon sighed. “I am so hungry.”
In no time at all, sunlight was pouring on Creston’s face, and he had to cry, “Stop! Leave something for me to climb out on!”
“That was a marvelous appetizer,” said the demon. “What shall I have now for my next course?”
“I suppose,” said Creston, not the least impressed by the way Kitty was eyeing his leg again, “You’d better go home and find something.”
Kitty sneered. “Everything there is too well done. But very well, Master. Until we meet again.” With a nasty wink, he dove into the ground and disappeared.
Creston was looking around for the best place to climb when another head popped out of the bag. “When is it my turn to leave, Master?” asked this demon.
“Soon, I expect,” said Creston. “What is your name?”
“Cubbie Bear,” said the demon. “Do hurry, Master. It’s so cold in here.”
“Cold?” said Creston. “How could it be cold?” But Cubbie Bear, shivering, had pulled back into the bag. Creston shrugged and started to climb the side of the hole.
Outside, he saw Stug several yards away, handing money to the two men who had filled in the grave. “Hello there!” he called, “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long!”
The workmen jumped back, raising their shovels. Stug’s eyes grew as wide as platters—with roast turkeys on top of them—as Creston climbed back up on the coach.
“I’m ready for that fourth test,” Creston called.
“We shall see,” muttered Stug, snatching the money back from the two men.
The Prime Minister drove his coach at a furious pace all the way back to the palace. A crowd of people who had heard about the country boy picking up the crown had gathered for a look at the person who might be their next king. Creston recognized the woman who had been ahead of him in line, and waved. She waved back, and nearly fell into the moat.
Creston, busy thinking about the crown and the demons the night before, had not paid much attention to this moat. He had simply crossed it as the line worked its way into the palace. But Stug pointed to it as the coach came to a halt.
“All you have to do now, sir,” he said, “Is go all around the palace without touching the ground, Can you think of a way to do that, sir?”
“Well,” said Creston, “Since we’ve had the test of air, the test of fire, and the test of earth, which leaves only the test of water, I suppose I could think of something, yes.” He stepped down from the coach and took off the cloak, which would slow his swimming.
He stepped to the edge of the moat, and stopped. “You’re not afraid of water, are you, sir?” Stug inquired.
“I never have been before,” Creston replied. “But maybe your water in the city is wetter.”
He looked up and down the moat, and saw nothing wrong. But as he was certain by now that Stug did not want him to be king, there had to be something wrong. Pity if he was to jump in and only then find out that what waited in the water was the one thing he was afraid of.
He reached into his pocket, and drew out his last penny. “Do not hesitate, sir,” Stug told him. “We’re all waiting to see you be king.”
Creston flipped the penny high in the air and watched it land in the water. At once he saw the long snouts and sharp teeth of strong, muscled fish all snapping at what they hoped was a snack. He’d seen such fish before, and knew they could snap off his hands or feet as quickly as he could snap the meringue off the top of a piece of pie. This did not frighten Creston; he just realized there was very little point in trying to swim with your hands and feet snapped off.
He looked at Stug and then at the crowd. Then he shrugged and unslung the bag from around his waist. “Cubbie Bear!” he shouted.
The crowd gasped and stepped back as the last demon jumped out of the bag. “What can I do for you, Master?”
Creston pointed at the water. “Is there anything a demon can do to make this moat safe?”
The demon studied the snouts in the water. “It would be safe for everyone if I tossed you in and the fish had enough to eat.” He put a hand on the bag at Creston’s waist.
Creston nodded. “If you feel that’s the right answer, they might well like the taste of demon as well. But is there no other way to make the water safe?”
“Safe enough for you, Master.” Cubbie Bear squatted at the very edge of the moat, and blew on the water. Ice crinkled straight to the other side. The demon blew some more, and soon the entire moat was frozen, thick and strong. Creston jumped down and skated or slid all the way around the palace, not once touching any of the bank until he had finished.
“Thank you, Cubbie Bear,” he said, when he had returned to his starting point. “You may go now.”
The demon leapt into the sky, with a wink and a holler, just like the others. “Until we meet again, Master! It shouldn’t be long now!”
Creston had no time to wonder what that meant. Stug came forward, shaking a finger at him.
“A man who carries a bag of demons is not fit king!” the Prime Minister declared.
People in the crowd shouted, “No! He’s no fit king!”
But a young duke who had been waiting on the drawbridge shouted out, “Isn’t a king who can tell demons what to do a useful king?”
And people in the crowd shouted, “A useful king! A useful king!”
“Listen!” Creston raised his arms. “Listen to me! I have picked up your drown and passed all your tests! The demons are not mine; they were here when I came to town. Even this bag was only a gift.”
“A rental, actually.” Gasping, the crowd made way for a newcomer. “I’d like to have it back now, Your Majesty.”
The tall old man Creston had saved from burning had appeared out of nowhere. Crawling next to his feet were the four demons, Puppy, Bunny, Kitty, and Cubbie Bear, all rubbing tear-filled eyes as if they had been soundly scolded, or switched, or both.
Creston held out the bag. “Thank you, sir. It has been very useful to me, but if you need it, here it is.”
The tall man frowned, but took the bag. “Yessss,” he said. “Thank you. It has made you king, has it not? Are you not afraid you will fail as king without it?”
“Nope,” said Creston.
The tall man sighed. “The bag shall be part payment for the good it has done you, then.”
“Part payment? Very well.” Creston looked from the demons to the tall man. “What else do you want? I just now threw away my last penny.”
“Not much,” the man replied. “Not much.” The man’s eyes were cold and hungry. The demons rolled their big eyes up at Creston, and these were hungry as well. “I want just this bag and one other thing.”
Creston’s eyes met those cold hungry ones, and he was not afraid. “Fair enough,” he said. “I am not king yet, so I can’t give you just anything in the kingdom. But if you want something I can give you, take it.”
The lips of the tall hungry man went in a bit, as if he was disappointed. “I can see I can’t have what I want the most,” he said. “So I’ll have to take something I like almost as much. No one needs it now, but I have a place for it.”
The tall man opened his bag, and, leaping over the heads of the crowd, grabbed Prime Minister Stug by the blue hair. Before Stug could shout, the Prime Minister was in the bag. At the old man’s whistle, the four demons jumped into the bag as well. The old man tossed the bouncing, jerking bag over one shoulder and leapt into the sky.
“One thing before you go, sir!” Creston shouted. “Do you happen to know what is the one thing I’m afraid of?”
The old man paused between clouds. “Of course. You’re afraid you’ll be afraid of something some day.”
Creston was glad to have that cleared up. He waved as the old man disappeared among the gathering clouds, and called to the people as thunder rolled and rain fell.
“Let’s get inside, shall we? I imagine there’s some sort of crowning ceremony to get done.”
They all moved into the banquet hall where the party had been held in Creston’s honor the night before. This party was even bigger. At the height of it, the young duke from the drawbridge turned to Creston and said, “It’s a lot of responsibility, you know, being king. Aren’t you afraid you won’t be able to handle it?”
Creston thought it over. “No,” he said. “No, I don’t believe so.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t be,” sighed the duke. “But haven’t you heard that most of the kings who ever lived finally died?”
“Did they?” said Creston. “Well, we’ll see.”
Blogsy Babbles 