As noted, the ground is getting treacherous underfoot as we sally forth in search of conspiracy theories about the U.S. Presidents. Ideally, you will recall, we are looking for stories more or less contemporary with the Chief Executive which have since been dismissed by most “mainstream historians”. We hit quicksand hunting for anything about Theodore Roosevelt, mainly because the Interwebs sees “Roosevelt” and “conspiracy” and screams in reply “Pearl Harbor!” The idea that there were two different Roosevelts in the top job just does not fit into any of the algorithms.
I thought the main problem would come with those largely forgotten and somewhat indistinguishable Chief Executives of the nineteenth century, but here comes WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT, remembered now mainly for his Billy Possum mascot (the successor to Roosevelt’s Teddy Bear) and for his girth (largest President ever.) He never especially wanted to be anything but a Supreme Court Justice, and apparently accepted other jobs in the meantime thinking he’d eventually get there (which he did.) He WAS the first President accused of spending too much time on the golf course; cartoonists loved to draw the big round President bending over to line up a shot. This leads into the ONLY conspiracy accusation against him, that he suppressed all news coverage of the time he got stuck in the White House bathtub and had to be hauled out by six men. Much as everyone WANTS to believe this, it apparently relies on the word of one White House staff member, published way after the death of Taft, and contradicted by the fact that Taft, even if he was considered clueless by his critics, knew very well how much he weighed. Every bathtub he used was custom built to fit him, and the chances of getting stuck were nil.
For years the great conspiracy theory about WOODROW WILSON was that his second wife secretly ran the government for months after her husband had a stroke. This, alas, has pretty much been declared true, so we have had to drop it from our arsenal of conspiracy theories. He DOES deserve a certain amount of gratitude from conspiracy theorists for being one of several people credited with inventing the phrase “New World Order” (which in his case was just an observation on how much the First World War rearranged international politics.) But there is also the accusation that he had contrived to corrupt the news media (this will be coming back into our story later, too) by establishing a public relations branch of the White House, to get the U.S. into World War I. This theory relies heavily on the notion that this crew of conspirators made sure Wilson’s pro-war speeches were played over and over in movie theaters (despite movies being silent) and contradicting the history of the 1916 election, which he won (just five months before the US declared war) using the slogan “He Kept Us Out of War.” (I was taught in school that Wilson was forced against his will to declare war by popular demand, but as everything else I was taught in school was apparently part of a huge conspiracy, I can’t include that.)
Thank goodness we have Warren Harding coming up next, a man who was president for only three years and yet piled up enough conspiracy theories to keep anybody busy. It’s all there: bribery, sex in an Oval Office closet, murder…we will reserve that for next time. After all the wild conspiracies above, I need a nap.
Blogsy Babbles 