It struck me that I have been selfish, having turned my collection of fine old jokes over to YouTube. After all, it was in this space that I published major excerpts from my quiz book on ancient humor, with the setup in one section and the punchlines in the answer section, to see how many aged gags you knew. And as I was looking at a blank page where today’s blog should be, and noticing how many golf postcards I have for sale…well, here goes a new quiz, in response to no demand whatsoever.
Q1. I went to a golf pro to find out why my game was suffering. He watched me take a few swings and said, “I see your problem. You’re standing too close to the ball
Q2. Kelly decided golf would give her a chance to get out and meet men. She asked her friend Louise to teach her the game. Louise showed her how to grip a club and told her, “Now you need to address the ball.”: Kelly looked down and said
Q3. St. Peter liked to play a few holes of golf when he got time off from sitting at the gate of Heaven, so one day he called on St. Luke and Elijah to hit the course. Luke teed up, swung, and sent a ball flying up into the air and right down into the cup for a hole in one. Then Elijah moved up to the tee, swung, and also hit the cup in one stroke. St. Peter pulled out his own driver and said
Q4. It’s important to make sure your clubs reflect your unique style of play; I, for example, spend so much tie in the rough I got rid of my 3 iron and my 6 iron and replaced them with
Q5. Meredith knew Allen was prone to improvise his scorekeeping, but he was the only partner available on some weekends. On the sixth, hole, as they both reached the green, Allan said, “I lie three.” Meredith replied
Q6. They putted out on the eighteenth green and Allen said, “Well, me for the bar.” Meredith said, “Ah, let’s finish the course first.” Allen said, “Finish? This is the eighteenth green. What else is there?” Meredith said
Q7. I was in the idle of my swing on the first hole when one of the usual busybodies broke in to tell me, “You know you’re not allowed to start from the lady’s tee, sir.” I said
Q8. The four men had met in the clubhouse and decided to make up a foursome. The seventh hole ran parallel to the highway on the other side of the fence, and as Irving was about to swing, he spotted a funeral procession passing by. He put his club back in the bag, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the cars had all driven past. One of the other players said, “That showed real respect.” Irving shrugged and replied
Q9. “How was your game?” Lou’s wife asked, when he returned from the course.
“Terrible,” he said. “We were on the fourth hole when Marvin keeled over, stark dead from a heart attack.”
“How horrible!” cried his wife.
“I’ll say,” said Lou
Of course you don’t need to read the ANSWERS; these are just par for the course.
A1. After you hit it.
A2. “Hello, ball.”
A3. “Okay, enough with the miracles, now let’s play golf.”
A4. A rifle and a fishing pole.
A5. “Well, the first two words of that are correct.”
A6. “The way you’ve been undercounting, I thought this was the eleventh.”
A7. “Start? This is my third stroke.”
A8. “Well, we were married for forty=-two years.”
A9. “It was six holes of hit the ball, drag Marvin, hit the ball, drag Marvin….”
Blogsy Babbles 