More postcards have joined my inventory, and some of them prove to be (so far) beyond my intense scholarly research on the Interwebs. So I thought I might share some of the things I am clueless about. No, wait! Come back! I said SOME of the things. My space on this website is not infinite, so I will try to observe a reasonable limit.
We have discussed the man at the top of this column before, but more examples of his work continue to appear. These cards involve a man sawing wood and “saying nothing” or a variation on that sentiment. I am steadfast in my belief that this is a bygone catchphrase (“meme” to those of you born after the Battle of Gettysburg) that I can’t trace back to the comedian or cartoonist who started it. These cards should not be confused with those captioned “Just Tell Them That You SAW Me”. There is still enough left above my eyebrows to figure that one out. But no one has come forth and explained “Sayin’ Nothin’”. Ten to one it’s another song by Bert Williams YouTube hasn’t uploaded yet.
AND I have been forced to review again THESE kids, and similar postcards showing a group of children with the caption “Made In Germany”. Despite a sort of doll-like deadpan expression, there’s nothing especially unpleasant about our protagonists, which means the cards aren’t meant as an outright ethnic slur (our cartoonists were never subtle about this sort of thing.) But if it’s a celebration of the diversity offered by immigrants why have I seen no “Made In Italy” or “Made In Norway” kids? Is it a subtle threat: a warning that all these immigrants are bringing over kids with accents? Again: surely the cartoonists of 1907 or thereabouts would have been more blatant, more unpleasant. I’m still missing something somewhere.
Now with this card, I am on firmer ground. This is another “Husband Comes Home late and Drunk” postcard. The setting is simple: two people, a staircase, and a few props. I can’t quite figure out what he’s grabbed for support. A clock? A birdcage? It could be easier if I just knew what the caption means. A quick glance made me think he was hallucinating a subway car, and was offering his seat to a lady by grabbing a strap hanging from the ceiling (all things which existed by the time the card was published.) But no: the caption is clearly, “Pare My Seat”. Prepare his seat? This is something he’s in the habit of saying, hence the rest of the caption. Repair his seat? Whatever it is is out of place, and that’s as far as I’ve gotten on this line.
The oldest and most widespread meaning of a “full hand” deals with cards. (Sorry.) It is another term for a full house: a five card hand with three of one card and two of another. What I am not sure about is what’s going on in the picture. I’m pretty sure she’s holding a “growler”, the tin pail one took to the bar to get a family’s daily supply of beer. If she has just drunk up the entire supply, though, which would explain her expression, the growler is no longer full, so how can she have a full hand? Am I overthinking a mediocre joke, or would the joke be much better if I understood some detail that’s eluding me so far?
Similarly, the basics of this gag are obvious. Somebody is making an infusion of some basic ingredient, and the aroma is intensely unpleasant. I am at least ahead of the person who listed a card like this as “Man Making Coffee”. This is NOT the expression of someone smelling fresh coffee, nor do we make coffee by letting it drip into a clear glass jug. (That’s the wrong color for coffee, too.) But I’m not doing any better. I assumed at first this was some home remedy involving asafetida, a cold and flu preventative which I had read about for years, the children forced to wear it complaining of its vile odor. Unfortunately, one does NOT distill asafetida; one just wraps it in a bag and ties it around the neck of children too small to defend themselves. And, anyway, the odor of asafetida (which is generally agreed upon: the word “fetid” is not in the name by accident) dissipates when it is cooked. So what IS he making? Is it medicine or is it something like floor polish or rodent repellent?
Maybe I could use these to illustrate a story: the man cooked something “Made In Germany” that the lady drank from her “Full Hand”, as did the man who was so spifflicated he told his wife to get a paring knife and then fell into a deep slumber, so his snoring was like sawing wood, and…..
All right, all right. I’m sayin’ nothin’.
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