Gather round, kiddledybooks! It is that time you wait breathlessly for: the appearance of Uncle Blogsy’s Annual Holiday Shopping Guide! We will once again…..What’s that? You don’t recall Uncle Blogsy’s Annual Holiday Shopping Guide from last year? Listen, mistletoe meatball, these annual traditions have to get their start somewhere. You didn’t realize you’d been waiting for the First Annual Holiday…kiddo, I hope you get sticks and coal. And not nice BIG lumps of coal but those miserable little gravelly ones.
Anyhoo, for those of you who are willing to play along, we are going to examine postcard suggestions of what you can buy for your nearest and dearest. A nice and decorative utensil, for example, perhaps an antique, is always a surprise to the recipient, and something they’ll remember whenever they think of you. (“That looks like Uncle Jasper coming up the sidewalk. Get that weird pitcher out and put it on the coffee table!”)
A utensil they need is always welcome, as well. Having a relative who keeps losing their watch or their pocket knife is an ever refreshing well of suggestions.
Of course, something vintage and useful and wonderful perfectly describes, say, any of the vintage postcards Uncle Blogsy has for sale. Take this one, for example. Yake it, but don’t GIVE it to anybody unless you are REALLY sure of their sense of humor and can include it with, say, a bottle of good champagne or a fifty-pound box of chocolates.
This sort of postcard certificate comes in all manner of varieties, and is BOUND to add a note of cheer to any family get-together. (Has anybody written a Hallmark movie called “Holiday Tear-Apart”? Dibs!)
If you are somehow determined NOT to give your deserving and long-suffering relatives postcards, there are always boring things like jewelry. Birthstone jewelry hints that you actually remember when the person’s birthday is, too, which should score you extra points. (Although a birthstone jewelry POSTCARD would be even…okay, okay.)
For those especially dear deserving friends, there are, as always, lacy garments which can be excused by the recipient on the grounds of how much egg nog you’ve imbibed. (This fine postcard, by the way, was created by gluing actual lace to the card. Excellent bargain if you know someone named Alma.)
Lace or no lace, and in spite of those great Fruit of the Loom commercials of a few years back, you should probably think twice before buying anyone underwear. It’s not that you shouldn’t do this, of course; Uncle Blogsy just wants you to be a little discriminating in your choices, pine cone casserole. I KNOW your Uncle Jasper, and he would appreciate those socks with the naughty gingerbread boy on them, but think twice before sending Aunt Petunia that sport bra featuring the Elf on a Shelf. (Aunt Booney would be jealous anyhow, if she didn’t get one, too. You don’t want to start any NEW family…wait. I’m getting ideas for the plot of that Hallmark movie.)
In some cases, of course, a nice check would be the all-around gift. (A gift card, of course, would be almost as useful in this newfangled century. Either way, be prepared for the traditional holiday joke about exchanging it for a larger size.)
These are just suggestions, of course. Naturally, there are people to whom you will extend the Grand Gesture. Go ahead. Knock yourself out. It’s just once a year, after all.
Blogsy Babbles 