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All-American G-Rated Cussin’

     As I continue my hopeless quest to figure out why some writers a hundred years ago or thereabouts referred to a handgun as a “roscoe” (I keep waiting for Fatty Arbuckle to be the answer, but no one goes along with it) and my equally futile journey to find out what happened to the…

CRUSHES OF YORE

     I am not sure we have ever discussed in this space the phenomenon of the pin-up joke, a classic of humor for decades.  Of course, you know what a pin-up is: THAT goes back for centuries (possibly millennia, depending on whether those cave paintings and ancient sculptures were offerings to a fertility goddess or…

QUAINTUPLETS: The Horn of Mr. Horner

     Mr. Horner owned a long, black car, which he loved.  He washed it four times a week, and he polished the hood ornament and the chrome every day.  Twice a month he took it to a mechanic named Harvey, who made sure the engine worked perfectly.      Because there was nothing Mr. Horner liked…

The King’s Leg Man

     “Sir Comvent!”      “Sire?”      “I need a new pair of boots.”      “I don’t suppose that means I will accompany Your Majesty to the cobbler’s shop.”      “Perhaps you forgot, sir knight, that you speak to a king who pulled his sword from a stone.”      “Perhaps Your Majesty forgets that Your Majesty…

Having It Both Ways

     A few months gone, we discussed in this space the concept of the trade card, a Victorian sales device issued by stores who realized that if people started collecting these, they would come to the store to see if a new one was ready.  Getting someone into the store was half the battle, after…

QUAINTUPLETS: Yvonne and the Princess

     Once upon a time, there was a cow in a fairy tale.      “What am I doing here?” she complained.  “I don’t wear glass slippers, and I don’t have a basket of goodies for Grandma.  I don’t believe I even have a Grandma.  I can hardly trade myself for magic beans.  If I could,…

FICTION FRIDAY: Those Old Piano Roll Blues

     I need to get this off my chest.  You’ll understand why.      First off, despite all the rumors which have surrounded my discoveries in the pianowork of Wolfgang “Whiskey Pete” M’Cloud, I did NOT use some kind of computer magic on his recordings.  I lack the skill even to come up with some of…

Covering Dishes

     It has been some time since we meandered through Memory Kitchen, largely because this is NOT a food blog.  But casseroles came up in an online chat, and this threw my mind back into the Iowa kitchen of my boy days.      And I must break your heart at the outset.  We never ate…

QUAINTUPLETS: Strange Bread

     Years gone, when folks ate fresh bread every day, despite a lack of electric bread machines and the Baker Do-Maker, the baking of that bread was vital to the community.  Recipes and techniques were handed down from grandparents to grandchildren, and handed down again when those grandchildren had grandchildren of their own.  Many of…

That Don Lock

     It has been a while, so I thought we might revisit the new arrivals to my inventory which I would characterize as Ass Joke Postcards.  Now, I realize the world has turned around a little, and that innocent three-letter word has a popular new meaning as “Something Bad”.  So, no: these are not postcards…

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