All the people came out to wave as the three princes rode away from home. The princes waved back, even though, as Prince Alain whispered to his brothers, “I get so tired of all those people coming around to look at my face all the time.”
Prince Archels looked at the women who just happened to be drying their hair in the breeze right along the road they had chosen to take. “I know,” he said. “It is such a bore how so many of them want to run up and feel my muscles.”
Prince Affretz simply waved. Since he was wearing armor, he could also wear his helmet, with the visor down. No one could see his face and cry out about how ugly he was, so he felt this adventure was already turning out to be a good time.
All that day and the next. The boys rode on, taking turns sleeping in the wagon, stopping now and again to eat and let the horses rest. Whether they were riding or eating, they spoke of little besides what they would do when they came to that silent castle surrounded by the gigantic thorn bush.
“You don’t need to be the smartest prince in the world to see we’re going to do something important,” Prince Alain told his brothers.
“It will be a fine story one day,” agreed Prince Archels. “We must prevail, since we are the best there is at what we do.”
“We may have things to do soon,” said Prince Affretz, who was studying a map. (He loved maps. “I can’t help being ugly,” he would say, “But I can help not knowing where I’m going.”) “We’re nearly out of our own country.”
They were, in truth, out of the lands they knew, since their progress had been steady. This meant they were also moving out of territory where everyone recognized them. The shields they carried did not show their names or coats of arms, for fear that any monster who heard THEY were coming would simply run away.
“I’d hate to miss out on an adventure just because I’m a famous prince,” is how Prince Alain felt about it.
Not long after midday on the second day, they reached a small, sleepy village. They had already agreed to go around villages when they could, so people would not be falling in love with Prince Alain or challenge Prince Archels to arm wrestle. They could have worn their helmets, like Prince Affretz, but the weather was warm. They could have had Affretz go without his helmet, and scare off everyone, but he was asleep in the wagon, it being his turn for a nap.
They had nearly passed the last buildings of the village when a voice called “Hello, my good fellows! Have you any food to spare?”
The princes looked around and found an old man sitting on a wall. He was a wild-looking creature, with a fuzzy frenzy of white hair and beard all around his face. A blue polka dot stocking cap sat on his head, and he wore peacock blue slippers which curled at the tip. Between hat and slippers came a pair of striped pink trousers, a yellow checkered sweater, a bright green shirt, and white gloves with holes in them.
:You look like good young fellows,” he called, in a voice very big for such a small body. “Prices, no doubt. Surely you can spare a bit for a man who hasn’t eaten lunch since Kwaimor Mountain was an anthill!”
“No!” Prince Archels was annoyed by the rude demand, and also by the man’s guess that he was a prince, when they had finally gotten away from all the people who knew them. “We don’t know how far we have to go and may need all our food to get there.”
“Go shout at someone else,” Prince Lain suggested. “Maybe they’ll feed you to keep you quiet.”
The princes rode on, but they had not gone far when Prince Affretz sat up in the wagon.
What time is it?” he asked. “Were you talking to someone just now?”
“Go back to sleep,” said Prince Alain. “You have hours to go before your turn’s done.”
“It was a noisy old beggar who wanted food,” his other brother told me, “And shouted about us being princes. Go back to sleep. We’ll wake you if anything important happens.”
“Wait now,” prince Affretz replied. “Did you give him any food? Beggars sometimes know a lot about the countryside, and know where the dangers are.
Archels frowned. “I’ve read books on this part of the world,” he said, “And we’re not near anything dangerous according to them. But it’s true we haven’t been here before. The old beggar might know something.”
“Not he,” said Alain. “Did you look at his clothes? No one who looks like that knows much of anything.”
“But we won’t know unless we ask,” said Prince Affretz.
In the end, the princes turned and went back. The old man was still on the wall, and didn’t look the least surprised to see them. Prince Affretz climbed down from the wagon and took the old man a roast beef sandwich. He didn’t like to do this. When he was riding his horse or sitting in the wagon, no one could see him limp. But the sandwiches were in the wagon, so this was the easiest way to do things.
“Sorry if we were rude, old beggar,” said Prince Alain. “Can you tell us anything about the road ahead?”
The old man, biting into the sandwich, nodded his head. The princes waited until he had chewed the first bite, and learned “It has rocks in it.”
The princes awaited, not really sue if he meant the road or the sandwich. Then Prince Archels said, “In return for the food, which we didn’t have to give you, you know, we’d like to know something about what lies ahead of us.”
“Oh,” said the old man. He swallowed another bite of sandwich and then said, “Naps are good for people. Flowers aren’t always a nice present. If you ignore your problems, they’ll go away sometimes.”
“Ah yes,” said Alain. “Thank you very much.”
“You have been heaps of help,” said Archels. And, grumbling, the princes rode away.
Affretz was disappointed about how this all had turned out. They had not gone quite a mile when he called to his brothers, “You know, I don’t believe that old man is smart enough to know to throw that sandwich wrapper in the trash. It has our royal seal on it, and people might figure out we passed this way. I’ll just go back and remind him not to leave it lying on the ground.”
“You’d be better off sleeping,” said Archels, shrugging. We have to take care of ourselves so we’re ready to face dangers. But if you don’t want to take that nap your wise old friend suggested, go on back and catch up with us when you’re done.”
Affretz, putting on his helmet so he didn’t scare the old man and taking his shield, so he could hde a piece of chocolate cake behind it, limped back to the old man on the wall. He didn’t like to mention that in the books he’d read, beggars by the wayside often turned out to be fairies in disguise. (None of the brothers, due to their history, necessarily thought fairies were a good thing.) When he found the strange old man still sitting on the wall, he handed him the chocolate cake and whispered, “Did what you said mean something? Or were you just talking?”
The beggar looked at the prince for a moment and then said, “Never drop a friend.”
“I won’t,” said the prince. “But why not?”
The old man’s eyes opened wide, and he looked up and down the road before whispering back, “It might hurt.”
This seemed to be about as much help as the old man was planning to be. Affretz thanked him and picked up the sandwich wrapper, which did NOT have a royal seal on it, murmuring, “I can’t help being ugly. But I can help being untidy.” Then he hobbled off to rejoin his brothers.
He found them at the top of a hill, looking down into a valley. “I’ve never read of such a thing,” Archels was saying.
“I’ve never even dreamed of such a thing,” said Alain.
“What is it?” asked Affretz, coming up beside them. Then he stared too.
The valley was filled with red flowers waving in the wind. No person, no tree, no stream, showed among the blossoms, just a tiny yellow streak which showed where the roadway passed through.
“Such perfume!” Affretz exclaimed, as they all started downhill. “It must be from the flowers.”
“Of course!” said Archels. “You don’t need to be the wisest prince in the world to know that.” He yawned.
Affretz yawned, too, since he was missing his nap. He wondered why his brothers were both yawning as well.
“Maybe it’s a trap!” he said. “This might be what the old man meant about flowers!”
Prince Alain pulled his horse to a stop. The horse yawned. “Of course!” said Archels. “I know what these are! They’re magic sleeping poppies. The perfume can put you to sleep forever if you breathe in too much of it!”
“We’ll never make it through,” yawned Affretz. “We’d better go back and go around.”
“They’re only flowers,” said Alain. “Take it in a run and we’ll get through in no time.” He charged forward, pushing poppies left and right. After eight strides, his horse stumbled and fell. The horse and Alain disappeared among the blossoms and did not get up.
Archels jumped down from his horse and peered down the roadway. “We must rescue Alain or he’ll sleep forever,” he yawned. “But how? The ancients, I’ve read, killed such poppies with snow.”
“We don’t have any snow,” Affretz told him, covering his mouth as he yawned again.
“I know, I know,” said his brother, with another yawn. “I’;m sure there’s another way. I just have to sit for a second and think what it is.”
“Good idea,” said Affretz.
“Sknerf,” said Archels, falling backward with his eyes shut.
This seemed very sensible to Affretz. If they all just slept on it, they’d surely cone up with an idea. Anyway, it was his turn to sleep, not theirs. The weather was warm, and the air was a bit sticky. He fumbled with his canteen for a drink of water.
To drink, he had to raise his visor. The poppies nearest him trembled. “Oh,” said Afretz, as an idea came to him.
Hooking his canteen to his belt again, he then reached up to remove his helmet. He sighed, just before he lifted it off.
Then, with a cry of “Yarrrrrrh!” he scowled his fiercest scowl down into the valley.
Such an ugly expression on such an ugly face was effective. Every single flower in the valley collapsed at once.
Unhooking his canteen again, he tossed water on his brothers and then on the face of the horses. “Oh, very good!” said Alain, after Affretz had explained. “That’s why we all three came on this adventure, so there would always be one of us to rescue the other two.”
“I didn’t think you’d be the first to do the rescuing,” said Archels, “But we’ll listen if you think of anything else the old man says that might make sense.”
“Glad to help,” said Affretz. “I can’t help being ugly, but I can help being useless.”
Mounting their horses, the brothers rode through the valley as quickly as they could. At the very edge, Affretz saw one poppy which had not wilted. He wondered if he should take it along, in case they met some monster which needed to be put to sleep. He decided not to bother. It would just be one more thing to carry.
Meanwhile, Alain and Archels were looking at something far worse than a valley filled with flowers. “If anyone ever wanted to look at the ugliest forest in the world,” said Alain, “I think this would be the best place for them to go.”
“This is known as the Forest of Dreary Dreams,” said Archels. “Most people stay away while they’re awake and come here only in their nightmares. No one knows if there is a horrible monster in the center or not, for no one who went in has ever come out.”
“That sounds like the sort of thing we rode out to see,” said Affretz. His brothers agreed.
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